Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Sad Salad Pie

It's the end of the month and our fridge and pockets are empty, so we didn't do much (or eat much) this past weekend. I was pouty and bored, as a result, and really wanted to cook something Friday night. My inspiration was the memory of my father's dump soups, casseroles, and stir fries. Most of the time the result was a disaster, but he once made something deliciously outstanding and couldn't remember what he threw together.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with my recipe for sad salad pie and it is delicious! Move over Rachel Ray, or whoever else is a low-rent Martha.


  • Frozen, broken pie crust
  • Half a container of salad spring mix, just before it spoils (about 2 cups)
  • A fat handful of basil (I found a live snail in my batch)
  • Olive oil, however much you want. Probably 1/4 cup?
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/4 cup of breadcrumbs
  • Squirt of miso paste
  • Squirt of Dijon mustard
  • All the cheese you have in your fridge. In my case, it was about 2 ounces of slimy feta
  • 2 Tbsp garlic paste
  • Salt and pepper to taste

No need to preheat the oven, that step is kinda bullshit, but cook at 450 degrees. Pierce bottom of pie crust a couple of times with a fork. Spread garlic paste on the bottom of the pie shell. Blend salad mix and basil in a food processor while streaming olive oil to make a pesto. In a bowl, mix the pesto with the remaining ingredients until you get a green pudding-like mixture and pour that into the pie crust. Bake until pie crust edges are golden brown, about 40 minutes.

Look at that adorable orange pot holder!

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