Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Sad Salad Pie

It's the end of the month and our fridge and pockets are empty, so we didn't do much (or eat much) this past weekend. I was pouty and bored, as a result, and really wanted to cook something Friday night. My inspiration was the memory of my father's dump soups, casseroles, and stir fries. Most of the time the result was a disaster, but he once made something deliciously outstanding and couldn't remember what he threw together.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with my recipe for sad salad pie and it is delicious! Move over Rachel Ray, or whoever else is a low-rent Martha.


  • Frozen, broken pie crust
  • Half a container of salad spring mix, just before it spoils (about 2 cups)
  • A fat handful of basil (I found a live snail in my batch)
  • Olive oil, however much you want. Probably 1/4 cup?
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/4 cup of breadcrumbs
  • Squirt of miso paste
  • Squirt of Dijon mustard
  • All the cheese you have in your fridge. In my case, it was about 2 ounces of slimy feta
  • 2 Tbsp garlic paste
  • Salt and pepper to taste

No need to preheat the oven, that step is kinda bullshit, but cook at 450 degrees. Pierce bottom of pie crust a couple of times with a fork. Spread garlic paste on the bottom of the pie shell. Blend salad mix and basil in a food processor while streaming olive oil to make a pesto. In a bowl, mix the pesto with the remaining ingredients until you get a green pudding-like mixture and pour that into the pie crust. Bake until pie crust edges are golden brown, about 40 minutes.

Look at that adorable orange pot holder!

Friday, August 26, 2016

5 Facts Friday

My most favorite blogs to write are my 5 Facts Fridays, but this week I feel silly having both Monday and Friday themed posts. I'm gonna do it anyhow, so I hope you can deal with it.

  • I ate a giant pizza yesterday! My GF Julia is moving away, which makes me sad, but she's leaving for nursing school, which makes me happy and she had a giant pizza going away party which makes me super happy. I love you Jules, wish you the best of luck in Houston, and words cannot express how jealous I am about all the green sauce you'll be eating.
30 inch pizza!!!!

  • I'm going to have to call you back 'cause David Yow is on the radio, is apparently how my husband answers the phone now.

  • Buddy, my accidental cat, had conjunctivitis this week. I bought some Canadian meds off Amazon because he's too wily to take to the vet. He stopped loving me as punishment for putting eye cream in his festering peeper, but tonight he showed me some benevolence now that he's unoozy.

  • The only thing I hate more than inconsiderate walkers is an inconsiderate walker who makes me bump into him and leaves his sweaty man, sourdough funk smell in my nose, which happened this afternoon. The silver-lining of this tidbit, however, is that it didn't smell half as terrible as my office did 3 days after someone vomited in it. Oh my god, it smelled like rotten shrimp casserole all week!

  • Courtney Barnett's Nobody Really Cares if You Don't Go to the Party is my current theme song, hence the blogging at 10 pm on a Friday night.

Monday, August 22, 2016

A Case of the Mondays

I think, if I've ever had a "case of the Mondays," today was the day.

In addition to the usual chaos and work frustrations my day went like this:


I split the ass of a lovely wrap dress as I sat down for a staff meeting. I would have described it as flattering and slimming before it busted open.

RIP My lovely floral kimono

What I though was someone heating up a late lunch in the microwave turned out to be vomit from a college-aged student just outside my office door.

This prehistoric creature (or something similar) fell from the sky and hit my head while I was walking to the bus. A grackle quickly snatched it up, which makes me think he was trying to bust open his din din by dropping it from the sky.

There's no lead-in or explanation for this bullshit. Tonight I chomped down on a freakin' rock while eating some leftover pinto beans. The silver-lining, however, is that I didn't break a tooth even though I have broken teeth on french bread and twice on cheese. Not just any cheese, bre and queso fresco. The only thing softer would be ice cream.