Thursday, April 24, 2014

Me Trivia

Yesterday, to celebrate Administrative Professionals Day, my department had a luncheon organized by my catering expert coworker and friend, Jessica. To encourage attendance and socialization, we frequently have some sort of contest. Last year everybody brought childhood photos to be identified and the year before there was a paper airplane contest to see who's creation flew the farthest. This year we were asked to submit random/fun trivia and try to guess who's fact belongs to whom.

While I felt like I had a plethora of personal facts to contribute, I ran several of them by Jessica first to insure that they were, in fact, little known facts. I ultimately submitted "________ owns over 100 sweaters." I have a lot of sweaters, to say the least. I was taken by surprise when nearly everyone at the table read that fact and started asking "what psycho has 100 sweaters?" "Clearly that person isn't a native Texan!" The comments continued until the department head suggested they stop lest someone at the table be the sweater collector. While I don't find my sweater collection odd, I felt mildly embarrassed, but mainly for those who thought it was strange and voiced their opinion in front of me before my identity was revealed.

Since then, I have been thinking of all the other random me trivia that I should have submitted. So, here's a list of next year's options:

  • I don't like chocolate.
  • I feel more affection towards pigeons than children.
  • My mum has 13 cats.
Artist's representation of my mum, except her cats all have human names.

  •  I cried while watching Beyonce's Super Bowl performance.
  • My grandmother sent me underwear for over 4 of my adult years.
  • I have very poor color vision. (I can see colors, but can't differentiate comparative colors like orange and red.)
  • I'm terrible at karaoke, but always sing Whitney Houston's I Want to Dance with Somebody.
  • I once saw Tony Little in a Jacksonville Airport wearing a red blazer while waiting for his Avis rental car.
Grrrrr, Tony Little

See why the red blazer is funny?!
  • Growing up, my mum told me I was allergic to egg whites and tuna. However, I have never had a reaction to either that I am aware of.
  • I don't like room temperature bananas, but I love hot or cold bananas..

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Rejection, Part II: Ex History

In my second post on rejection, I'd like to write about some rejections I've personally doled out. Today, children, you will be learning about my ex history.

I'm a very lucky girl with a wonderful husband, but I certainly have been unlucky with love in the past. Recently, a few individuals from my romantic history have made it into my general internet news feeds and I thought it would be interesting to discuss some data points regarding those old relationships.

NAME: Professor Dumpster, although I knew him as Dr. Jeff
TIME: 2010-ish, for a couple months
BIO: Environmental science Professor, divorcé, father
DETAILS: Dr. Jeff was one of my first "successful" OKCupid experiences. We went on a couple of dates and I had a decent time. He would take his shoes off at bars, which didn't bother me so much as I, too, like being barefoot. (I'm barefoot right now!) The distinction here is that I would take my shoes off in a bar while sitting down. He, however, took his shoes off and walked around the bar, played pool, ordered a drink, etc. all while barefoot.
REJECTION REASON: The deal breaker for me was when he said he had a daughter that lived in Brazil and that he was happy he didn't have to deal with the normal aspects of being a father, like bed-wetting, sadness, or sickness. I definitely needed someone in my life who could handle all three of those things.
REJECTION METHOD: I just stop answering his texts, emails, phone calls, etc.

NAME: Barrett Brown
TIME: 2007-ish, various make-out sessions
BIO: Journalist, federal prisoner, friend of a friend
DETAILS: Barrett was the best friend of someone who could only be described as an ex-boyfriend, although I don't think we "technically dated." I frequently found myself angrily flirting with Barrett (you know how young girls are) and several times we would make out and then be mean to each other. One particular time, he invited me back to his hotel room. Instead of going in, we made out in my car and I left.
REJECTION REASON: He doesn't brush his teeth and I was trying to be respectful to the guy I was "dating."
REJECTION METHOD: Driving away slowly.

NAME: "Big Tex"
TIME: 2008-ish, for several months
BIO: Artist, cowboy, schizophrenic
DETAILS: I truly enjoyed this relationship. There's not much better for a wild girl in her early twenties than a cute and crazy cowboy who treats her the way a purdy lady should be treated. We drank, we danced, and he visited me nearly every weekend in Austin for fun-tastic events.
REJECTION REASON: He asked me for a hammer and said he wanted to wear my skin over his skeleton during what could only be described as a schizophrenic, drunken episode.
REJECTION METHOD: Kicking him out of my house during a scheduled visit. Having said that, we gave it another go several more times after this incident, but things kept getting crazier and crazier.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Rejection, Part I: Rejection Letters

After waiting for several months to see if my wait-listed graduate school status would turn into an acceptance, I have finally received my rejection notice from UT.

Rejection letters are no longer sent. Instead, I got an email telling me to log in and check online.

While I'm truly disappointed, I'm ultimately placing this rejection on the scale somewhere between "kind of sucks" and "no big deal." Please, don't interpret that to mean that I didn't really care about getting into grad school. Rather, nothing in my life changes, I am still pleased as a plum, and I will just try again next year. More importantly, I'm not entirely sure it was the right time for me, as I still have two jobs and recently resigned my post with the Wendy Davis group due to the time commitment. So, in summary, I won't be going to grad school this fall and that kind of bums me out. And with that in mind, this is the first post of a two-parter on rejection:

I recently saw this post online of rejections letters sent to famous people. I find this pretty motivating.

Slyvia Plath Rejection Letter

 Stay tuned for tomorrow's rejection related post!

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

My Rap Debut

Happy Wednesday, y'all. Today is a very special day for LD because tonight is my rap debut. Yes, you read that right, I will be rapping for the first time tonight at Trailer Space with The Abominable Mex, or Mex as we know him.

Several months ago, Mex asked me to rap with his ever-growing group and, while I was excited about the idea, I didn't think I'd have the courage to go through with it. We set a date, I started writing rhymes, and tonight I get up on stage to make a mild fool of myself in front of friends. It all sounds wonderful! I have 16 bars in Mex's "Trailer Space Anthem" and, naturally, was inspired by Salt N' Pepa so my lyrics are a wee bit explicit. At this point, I'm as ready as I'll ever be, but I'd be more confident if we had actually practiced beforehand.

Earlier this week I spent most of my free time focusing on wardrobe. After lots of help from my lady friends, I decided to go for a hip hop Jane Fonda look:

Get it, gurl!

I was able to find everything I needed online, with the exception of the tights which are already a wardrobe staple for me. I was also going to cover up with my favorite black-market Dallas Mavericks Starter jacket in a kid's size large for the adorable hip hop look, which I figure is the only hip hop look I can pull off.

Fly kicks courtesy of DSW:,dsw12cat460004

Sexy Maidenform "leotard" with a suspenders look to highlight my nerdy lifestyle. Added bonus for the tummy-tucking, shapewear. I figured a black bra or striped tube top would cover my girls well enough:

Gina had some excellent wardrobe suggestions and mentioned a bodysuit immediately. However, after looking into it furher, I realized she was talking about something more like this:

While green Hawiaan print isn't really my "thing", I could see myself wearing something along these lines:

After all my window shopping for an outfit, I decided I would be even more nervous looking like a fool while performing, than I would if I was just in my normal clothes. So, hip hop Jane Fonda will just have to wait for a more appropriate time, like Halloween or my second rap performance.

If you want to come see me tonight, we go on at 8pm. Wish me luck!

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Thursday Tidbits

Yay, it's April. I feel like I've been counting down the days until April these past few weeks, but I can't necessarily tell you why. Spring is here and I'm ready to get sprung. Here are some tidbits:
  • I got my nails did yesterday, y'all! I went to Paloma for one of Nails Y'all's aweschumb manicures. It was an "artist's choice" special, which removed any pressure from me to come up with a nail idea. Meghann does intricate designs and decals in both vegan polish and my favorite, shellac/gel polish. In preparation, she asked me not to peel off my current gel manicure, which is one of my OCD passions, so I honored her request and brought my rainbow jar of "nail skins" with me. I love peeling off old gel manicures.
My nail skins in a jar, while my shellac is being removed properly.

Fly nails
  • First, let me preface by saying that I don't like Steely Dan. I just don't; no explanation necessary. However, this is one of my favorite songs ever! We just watched American Hustle and the film started out with this song. Amy Adams has never looked so sexy and now I'm dreaming of Diane von Furstenberg wrap dresses.

  • The only person who pranked me at the office on April Fools Day was myself. I accidentally filled my water bottle too full and spilled at least half a cup of water into my crotch when I took a sip. Meh, I've done clumsier things and fortunately, I store a pair of "emergency panties" in my desk just for this reason. I toweled off my dress, broke out the emergency pair, and finished the day without any more glitches.

  • I'm going to be a rap chick, y'all. Karen and I had a "rap group" in high school called Latino Pride. My name was 2Pāl (i.e. too pale) and we basically made up rhymes in broken Spanglish. A while back my rap friend, Mex, asked me to be a fly girl in his group Mex Mode. While I'm pretty great at joking around and making clever rhymes, I've never considered writing and performing. I have my first performance April 9th at Mex's birthday party and I'm surprisingly calm about it. Bottom line: I will either embarrass myself in front of friends or do pretty great and be able to scratch that one off my bucket list. Wish my luck!
  • Tomorrow is our 6 Month-iversary!! I'm still, as expected, wildly excited to be married to BBC. Never in my life did I think I would be so content with myself and wonderfully happy with another person the way I am with Brandon. I can only hope we're just as happy on our 60th anniversary. We'll be celebrating, simply because I want to celebrate all these small anniversaries because once they past we will only have our annual anniversary. I feel so fortunate to have this happiness that celebration just seems natural. We'll being going to Uchi and I got Devo tickets for my sweetie.