Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Fair Daze

This past weekend I packed up my stretchy pants and took my first Megabus to Dallas to visit Audra, Jamie, and the Texas State Fair. I had such a great time with my girls, had a lot of new experiences, and didn't eat a single vegetable the entire trip.

Dear road tripping friends, Megabus is pretty great. The fares are shockingly cheap, the buses are equipped with electrical outlets, bathrooms, and WIFI, the clientele is less "prison-escapee" than Greyhound, and if you're anything like me you can drink a tallboy purchased from a gas station whenever the bus driver takes a bathroom break. I highly recommend it for local Texas trips (or while traveling through the north east) and will certainly be using Megabus again.

I arrived in Dallas Friday afternoon and Jamie and I immediately set out for the state fair. I had the highest of hopes for participating in a hot dog eating contest hosted by Hoffman's hotdogs and judged by none other than Takero Kobayashi, international eating sensation. Upon arrival, however, we discovered that only two people from the audience would be selected to participate and I was not the frat boy from Oklahoma they were looking for. My disappointment quickly dissipated after chowing down some deep fried Frito pie, deep fried kraut balls filled with sour kraut and German sausage, a corn dog, deep fried cheese curds, delicious handmade lemonade and root beer, deep fried chicken and waffle on a stick, and many $12 Miller Lites. The winner of the hotdog eating contest ate 20 dogs (without the bun) in 5 minutes, which is about 17 more than I would have eaten. We also got to watch Kobayashi engulf 60 dogs in about 3 minutes.

Kobayashi, king of the hotdogs

After fooding we hit up the livestock shows and met Boris, Texas's biggest pig, and a kangaroo that seemed drugged as a precaution to prevent his escape and potential attack/ruckus. We watched the pig races and afterwards witnessed a 2 week old baby goat desperately try to stay awake. (His poor little head was so heavy!) There was a chicken exhibit equipped with a tiny ferris wheel for the baby chicks, a baby giraffe, and some fancy African animals I had never heard of before, but my favorite livestock event was learning about bout cats!

Boris the 1,200lb Texas pig

Boris has balls the size of my head!

The educational sign at the cat exhibit

The Texas State Fair makes for great people watching. After all, you can't very well walk around while juggling a corn dog and funnel cake, so we scoped out the fair fashions while stuffing our faces. What's hot in fair fashion this year?
  • Neon hair extensions: which happen to be available for purchase at the various merchant tents

  • Exposed midriff: It doesn't matter if you're 6 or 60 or in the peak of your physical shape. Let those belly rolls or 6-pack abs show! I seriously saw a sexagenarian in a wispy silk, blue crop-top paired with high-waisted mom jorts.

  • Kid 'n Play hair: high and tight!

  • Thigh tattoos: Temporary tattoos are available at the fair if you're not up for a permanent one and offered in henna, airbrushed, or hand painted.
  • Mix-matched patterns: I was so impressed with the pairings of plaids and florals, ikat and stripes... these girls were fly.
  • Animal print: not just for Jersey housewives anymore.
  • Huge hair bows: I'm not talking about the kind worn by toddlers.

  • Flamboyant kicks: Sneaker washing services are also offered in many merchant tents.
  • Couples shirts: You and your boo should match, if at the very least to let the fair floozies know he's taken.
I don't know what this means, but it was very popular!

Texas State Fair success!

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