Thursday, April 12, 2012

A Stalker is Born

The stars have aligned and I suddenly have the opportunity to meet two of my celebrity crushes. Granted, it comes at a cost, but the obsessive stalker in me is truly considering paying that price. It isn't as though I think they would fall madly in love with me, wine and dine me, plop a 4 carat Asscher cut vintage diamond ring on my finger, and live happily ever after on our palatial estate should they meet me. I'm being realistic here.... I just want to get close enough to smell 'em.

So, who's on my list? Here are my top 5, in no particular order (lest they see my list), and my scent predictions:

Phil Collins- probably smells like gin

Rick Rubin- probably smells like fresh-cut
grass and peanut butter

Dirk Nowitzki- I suspect he smells salty

David Letterman- probably smells like a pine forest,
or perhaps garlicky

Steve Martin- I'm just certain he smells like
the beach

And who is rounding out the top ten, you ask?

Alexander Skargard- mmmmmmm, I suspect he smells like
the sexist scent in existence. 

Chevy Chase- "woodsy"

Daniel Craig- I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say
that he probably reeks of Old Spice 

Super Dave Osborne- definitely smells like pizza

Daniel Day Lewis- Calvin Klein,
Obsession (for women)

And in closing, please help me raise $1,500 so I can meet Phil Collins and Dirk Nowitzki!!!!!!!

Texas State Historical Society's book signing & reception with
Phil Collins, May 9th $495

Meet & great with Dirk, tour of locker room & practice
space, autographed jersey, and 2 catered-suite tickets,
April 20th $1,000


Beth said...

Your "type" of men will never be an easy on to nail down, I'll say

Kayrun said...

Haha! Dave Osborne definitely will smell like pizza. I'm hungry :'(