Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Tuesday Tidbits

  • I'm captcha illiterate. 
  • I've been bankrupt since my birthday party and living on pennies. Payday is just around the corner and the thing I'm looking forward to the most is cooking something! It's not like I cook normally, but I feel like I couldn't if I wanted to. What's on my short list?

Pickled grapes

Asparagus & Gruyere tart


  • My to-do list for tonight is as follows:
    • Make a list for 1st of the month/payday shopping.
    • Make an instructional e-cig video for Lela's mum.
    • Figure out what my medical PayFlex balance is.
    • Replant my succulent that is outside and getting too much rain water.
    • Take photos for things to sell on eBay.
    • Pick out an outfit for Beth's wedding.
    • Pick out an outfit for the bachelorette party!
    • Call mum
    • Make a weekend to-do list
  • Jessica sent me this link today about the Anti-Flirt Club. Number 8 on the list of rules is my favorite, "Don't fall for the slick, dandified cake eater- the unpolished gold of a real man is worth more than the gloss of a lounge lizard."
  • My father told my grandmother that he bought me an awesome new bike for my birthday and that darling old lady asked me frantically to send her photographs because she thought it was a shiny new motorcycle. 

Monday, February 27, 2012

Trooper or Party Pooper

How often do I complain about my medial issues? I feel like it's incessant. Anyhow, I'd like to take this moment to apologize for being a party pooper because I've really got to vent!

This past weekend I've been out of sorts. I take a handful of pills daily to help with the 4 autoimmune disorders I have. Normally I feel fine with the occasional muscle and/or joint pain that interferes with an active day. This past week I've been out of two of my daily medications and have been a little stubborn about refilling them, only because I'm waiting for payday to make the $262.50 leap. This weekend I was a reclusive brat and, besides an all morning ladies pre-wedding shopping trip with Beth and Gina, I spent most of my weekend in bed watching terrible Lifetime movies. I also went out for corn and margaritas with Stayten and Julia!

I'm absolutely shocked with how much of a difference my medication makes in my life. I was having some control issues about my condition and sort of thought 'just saying no' to medication was an option, but now I realize it actually isn't. I'm miserable! My chest feels like a 300lb man is sitting on it, my legs feel as weak as spaghetti, my muscles are so sore, my hips feels like they're stretched to their breaking point, and my mouth is so dry that the inside of my lips feel like velvet. It's very upsetting to learn how dependent I am on medication, and I've just refilled my pills.

My most needed medication, which works by interfering with nerve impulses to reduce muscle pain, would be $663.05 without medical insurance! Thankfully, I have great medical coverage, but it is upsetting to think that there are people out there who wouldn't be able to feel the relief that I do.

In related news: I fully support medical marijuana and you should too!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Shopping List

No news is good news and I don't have any news! Nothing new, nothing exciting, just working, playing, and living the same 'ole, same 'ole.

Here's a boring list of items in my Amazon shopping cart waiting for payday:

Tidy Cat Breeze system refills

  • 18" x 24" white picture frame
  • 9" x 9" white picture frame

Neoprene 6-pack tote

Radio Shack 8' coaxial cable 

14" wooden embroidery hoop

Salmon oil to help with the kitties' coats

Bissell 81L2

Still interested? Here's a list of items on eBay that I'm hoping to win and purchase:

Tignanello green suede purse

Black enamel Victorian mourning ring

Paul & Joe cat eyeshadow

J. Crew rubber rainy day flats

Turquoise Victorian mourning ring

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Happy President's Day

Damn, I'm a day late, but... Happy President's Day!

Calvin Coolidge liked headdresses

On this President's Day, I'd like to honor my favorite President of the United States, Calvin Coolidge. He was the 29th Vice President under Warren G. Harding, and became the 30th President upon Harding's death. Biographers have described his presidency with such mediocre quotes as:
He represented the genius of average.
His active inactivity suited the mood and certain needs of the country admirably.

The Calvin Coolidge I love was stingy with his words and eccentric. Here are some fun historical facts, y'all.
  • One of his favorite pranks as President was to push every button on his desk in the White House and hide while his secretaries, military assistants, Secret Service agents, valets, and Cabinet officers ran frantically into his office and searched for him. Presidential hide and seek!
  • Coolidge slept no less than eleven hours a night and napped daily. Often, upon waking up he would ask his aides, "Is the country still here?"
  • He had a mechanical horse installed in the White House, which he rode regularly while pretending he was a cowboy.
  • Shortly after marrying his wife Grace, he handed her a bag of 104 socks with holes in them and asked her to darn them. She replied, "Did you only marry me to darn your socks." His serious response was, "No, but I find it mighty handy."

Grace and Cal

  • Calvin Coolidge was known for his frugality of expression. Once, at a dinner party, a young woman told him she had a bet with her husband that she could get him to say more than three words. The President smiled and said, "you lose."
  • His 16 year-old son, Calvin Coolidge, Jr., died when a blister on his toe, that he got while playing tennis, got infected.
  • The Coolidges loved animals and received many as gifts, including a black bear, lion cubs, a hippopotamus, a wallaby, a wombat, and a deer, all of which he donated to zoos. His most loved pet was Rebecca the raccoon, who lived in the White House and walked around on a leash.
  • Coolidge was the first president filmed with sound!

Favorite Coolidge quotes:

Four-fifths of all our troubles would disappear if we would only sit down and keep still.
Perhaps one of the most important accomplishments of my administration has been minding my own business.
If you don't say anything, you won't be called upon to repeat it. 
If I'm asleep, I can't mess anything up. 

Friday, February 17, 2012


This song reminds me of my last epic brunch with the girlies. I need more epic brunches and beautiful mornings.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Bye, Bye Birthday!

Sheesh, I've felt over-celebrated for this entire week and now.... bye, bye birthday! This morning my Valentine's Day hugging birthday girl Stayten texted me, "Happy thank GAWD birthdays and valentines days are over Day!!!!!!!" and I hear ya sista. Last night Beth, Emily J., Gina and I had oysters and champagne at Parkside followed by saki bombs at Jackalope with Jacob, and that was the FINAL birthday celebration I will attend. This has, by far, been the best birthday ever!

In other birthday news, tomorrow begins the string of February birthday celebrations.... Amy's 30th birthday party on Friday, Cutie Katie's 30th curry dinner and dancing fest on Saturday followed by temptress Tofte's birthday hullabaloo, Sunday night drinks in honor of Andrea's pre-valentine's birth, and Monday starts off the week with a grilling pot-luck in honor of sweet Elizabeth. Man alive, there were a lot of awesome gals born in February.

Tonight, I stay home!!!! Words cannot express how excited I am to do nothing. It's been a very full and busy week and I haven't even washed my hair since last Friday! Soup, sweatpants, movie, and bubble bath are all that's on my list for the evening. Afterall, I have a big weekend of birthday parties and tomorrow night Emily J. and I will be going to Fist City!

Bad Girls

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Today it's official: I'm 30 and it makes me so happy!
Here's a list of thirty other things that make me happy:

 1.  Eating spaghetti with chopsticks
 2.  Saki bombs!
 3.  Dancing like nobody is watching

 4.  My amazing girlfriends!!

Bridget, Andre, Beth, LD, Gina

 5.  Adorable animal pictures/videos

 6.  My mum

Taken on the day Elvis died

 7.  Buying presents for people
 8.  Eating cottage cheese and having that "squeaky" feeling between my teeth
 9. Tea-stained coffee mugs
10. Wearing a sweatshirt with bikini bottoms

11. Sleeping in the sun
12. Saying, "good morning" to construction workers
13. Pigeon watching

14. Unique cacti
15. Soup
16. Sweaters

My collection of 140+ sweaters

17. Goat cheese
18. Peeing outside
19. How beautiful Pam always makes me feel
20. Drinking beers with my dad on his patio
21. When my sweet kitty, Cecilia, sleeps with her head rested on mine

Extreme cat face close-up 

22. Evoxac!!! In my opinion, it's the best pill ever made by man. Well, of course 2nd only to Vicodan.
23. Summer bicycle booze cruises
24. Champagne

25. Mismatched silverware
26. Quirky brooches

My brooch menagerie: Purrscilla and Maude

27. Antonelli's
28. Being an aunt! I love how Stevie P. calls me his Lola

Christmas with my nephew

29. Hot bubble baths

30. Robyn... duh!

And in closing, my dear friends, on my special day I'd like to impart some words of wisdom that I've learned over the last 30 years. Here's an LD inspirational video:

Yeah, I have no idea what I'm saying either!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine, Schmalentine

I've never been much of a Valentine's Day fan, as it's so close to my birthday that I just lump it into another celebration. And, anytime I've had a Valentine, they usually ignore the heart day and I only get a birthday dinner. Last year, I spend the day with Gina and Topo Chico, relishing in the fact that I had just dumped my loser ex-boyfriend the day before. Surprisingly, I expected to be sad last year, but felt so vindicated. This year, I'm having a single ladies movie night! But, in the spirit of the holiday, I wanted to make a little list of Valentine's Day wishes:

  • Purrfect Date: Peter Pan mini golf with BYOB champagne straight out of the bottle. Perhaps followed by saki bombs at Jackalope, and goat cheese cake from Parkside for dessert. No dinner, just drinks and dessert, please.
  • Purrfect Movie: I'm tired of rom-coms where two friends become jaded sex partners on the premise that they don't believe in love, just to fall head over heels for each other. I'd rather see two bitter ex's who hate each other accidentally get married in Vegas and spend the rest of their lives making each other miserable.
  • Purrfect present: I think I'm a sucker for animal gifts. Give me a pigeon or a black, girl, pug puppy named Olive Chew.
  • Purrfect man: Two words: bow tie
  • Purrfect dinner: Surprise me with dinner, but be sure to tell me to dress fancy first:

  • Purrfect cards:

Monday, February 13, 2012

Mitzvah to the Max

Saturday night was the best birthday party of my life and I am including my 6th birthday in which my mum made a heart shaped cake. It was an absolutely purrfect party! 

This is what I look like holding 50 balloons

I rented out my favorite lesbian dive bar, Bernadette's and bought the bar like Jay-Z; free drinks for everyone. Some of my favorite friends drove in from Houston, Dallas, and Denton and even Jessica commented that it felt like there was so much love in the air. I have the most amazing friends! Oh I love my friends, I love my life, I'm so excited to be where I am and who I am. This is going to be the best year ever!

With the lovely Lela! I adore this girl!

Matt played DJ and kept the party hopping all night long. Even Whitney Houston couldn't steal my thunder by dying, and we had an I Want to Dance With Somebody tribute. My 30 best girlfriends (minus the mom of a sickie baby, Letty, and sickies Katie and Amanda) wore rhinestone yarmulkes to stick with my Bar/Bat Mitzvah theme and I tried, drunkenly and unsuccessfully, to honor them and all the support they give me in a pre-toast speech.  

Bedazzled yarmulkes with Pam's Gretta looking on

Julia made my favorite cake: spiced apple with goat cheese frosting. There wasn't enough to go around for everybody, but I also witnessed Tofte going back for thirds. Alison constructed the most beautiful champagne glass tower!!! I think she needs to put that feat on her resume. There's video of the water run-through, which I will post shortly. 

The beautiful Alison with glasses of liquid gold
Andre for everybody!

Pam did my hair and make up and I decided to go sans glasses at the last minute. I think I might be needing some contacts, because I am overwhelmed with how many compliments I got. I'm a pretty girl!! Finding a party dress felt like a nightmareish task that I did NOT have the will for, so instead I rented a designer cocktail dress on the cheap from Rent The Runway. It's my new favorite secret. Well, it was until Jamie blogged about it to all of Dallas: Cheapskate's Guide to Designer Fashion

... no comment!

Beth and the boys did a great job of supporting me during the hora/chair dance. This was certainly on my bucket list, but now that I've experienced it, I don't want to do it ever again! Thank god I remembered to keep my legs together and nobody saw my panties.

Beth, Nay Nay, Screaming LD, Alex, and Dustin

Presents, presents, presents!!! I got so many presents, y'all! Oh, and you guys know me well. Thirty roses from Adrienne, a dozen more from Amy, a beautiful silver pigeon from Bridget along with framed portrait of her kitty Augie (who has stolen my heart, that handsome boy), a breathtaking portrait of a Capuchin pigeon from Audra, delicious ginger snaps, adorable kitty cat frame, you know what from Tofte along with the purse-sized hair brush I asked for, bottles and bottles of wine, scratch offs, cash money, mas musica from Jamie, a lovely ring from Gina, and a SonicCare toothbrush from Jacob. I'm a spoiled girl!!! Julia gave me a stuffed, knit pidge that I've named Julius. He's my new snuggle buddy!

Post party cuddle with Julius

My number one goal of the night was to make sure that everybody had a blast. It was a success and my phone is still vibrating off the hook with all the "best party I've been to in years." I think it's fair to say that my tax refund has never paid for anything more spectacular. Thank you to everybody for making my 30th party one I'll always remember. 

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Tidbits: PartyEdition

  • Party, party, party! I'm getting very excited about my birthday party. Whenever I get home from work, I should be greeted with the delivery of my party dress. It's all so exciting.
  • In more party news, I'm very concerned about the sudden rash of illness: Emily J., Jessica, Audra, Amanda.... I pray the list stops there. These girls HAVE to be un-sick by Saturday.
  • I don't normally shave my legs because I'm a fair-skinned blondie with very little hair, but last night I thought, "what the heck?!" I shaved my legs because I thought that it would make my legs look sexy in my party dress? This is such a strange thought for me, since my legs still look exactly the same. The feel completely freaky, however, and that is something to get used to. I wore jeans to work today, but they feel like satin pants on my hairless gams.
  • Balloons, balloons, balloons. Today I googled, what do 50 balloons look like, and this is what I got. I didn't watch the entire video, because it was pretty boring, but I decided 50 should be enough.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

This is how I feel right now:


Three lovely ladies are having birthday parties on Saturday, the 18th! Firstly, that means I'm going to look like a lottery addict while buying their scratch-off presents. Secondly, if anybody is interested in Hyde Park bicycle party hopping with me..... it should be a blast!

Oh man, last night Julia and I went to PUNCH! at Cap City. Unfortunately, Audra was not in tow to share or traditional pina coladas. However, Karen joined us and fell right into line with our routine, (including our Green Monster after party at Bar Flys) I love all my ladies!

I wore a cute summer dress yesterday (and last night) that I "wintered-up" with a red cardigan. Wow, that outfit was a hit! At lunch JJ told me that my boobs looked nice in it, a man last night at Cap City say, "that thing you're doing... the sweater and dress.... it works!", and last night as Karen, Julia, and I were leaving Bar Flys a dude said, "Did you see the exit sticks on that chick." Ha, exit sticks!

I'll be thirty in one week!! I'm pretty damn excited and that feels amazing. Jacob's getting me a Sonicare for my birthday! Eeeek, I'm happy. This is going to be the best birthday ever. Also, I think I found the new bike I want:

And here's some Lykki Li:

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


This past Saturday Julia and I went to Pinballz and had a great time! They now have a Zoltar machine and I was very excited about making a cosmic wish, but he didn't offer that. Instead, all I got was this fortune:
Hast the devil been chasing you? Is that what makes you feel so blue? Cheer up, cheer up, my own dear one. For your fight against him has been won.
Yes, you've been up against it at times, and fate in the form of the Devil has been at the bottom of it all. Now you can look ahead to better times. You will dream about sun and that will be the beginning of a bright future. You are a very sincere individual, and like to be surrounded by your good friends. Your money troubles will soon disappear and you will be able to indulge in a few luxuries that you've been craving. You will be besieged by those less fortunate for monetary help, and no one will go unaided.
I think Zoltar was pretty spot on, because as soon as I was finished reading my fortune, Julia asked me to borrow a dollar so she could get hers.

Stayten wants to get a tarot and/or palm reading for her birthday and I want to do it so badly. What a great tradition for birthdays; start the year off with "cosmic insight"


I'm a sentimental girl, and have lots of dates and thoughts running through my head frequently. February is a huge month for me, in terms of memories and anniversaries.

  • 30 years ago this month I was born.
  • 4 years ago tomorrow, I met the man who I mistook for the love of my life.
  • 1 year ago next week I ended that relationship.
  • 1 year ago, on this day, I was in the hospital and had a rude awakening to who did/did not care about my well being.
  • 1 year ago this month, I reconnected with my real father, who had been absent from my life for several years.
  • 1 year ago this month, I learned that I'm not the most important person in my life, but rather, the people who love me share that role with me. 

I'm a sentimental, sappy girl, but I feel so fortunate for all the amazing people in my life and think it's so important that they know how much I love them. With all my memories and anniversaries, it's a happy coincidence that February hosts Valentine's Day, and that it's completely appropriate to send my friends sweet little messages of love! I LOVE Y'ALL!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Monday's Mayhem

  • I would just like to take this moment to vent about how much I hate Twilight. I've been pining hard over J. Crew's "Saturday Pants", which are essentially fancy sweat pants. I LOVED them when they first came out, but didn't want to spend $98 on sweats, so I figured I would take my chances and find a pair on eBay. (I essentially do this with everything I want because I'm a cheapskate). Well, they sold out in stores and I can't find anything but an XS or XL on eBay. After further research, I've discovered that the Saturday Pants were featured in Twilight and worn by Bella, causing a shopping sensation amongst tweens. 

  • I honest to goodness just wrote, "wash hair (or at least bangs)" on my list of things to do tonight. Ugh, I'm a mess.
  • This weekend I felt like I was being holla'd at a lot:

  • I've been swamped at work lately with grant season. I was at the office until 7:30 Friday night and had to argue to convince the bossman that I didn't need to work on Saturday. After coming into the office at 6:30 this morning, everything has been submitted and I can finally breath. YAY!
  • Last night Pam and I made birthday yarmulkes. They turned out great! I'm getting very excited about my party!
Gretta wants a kitty-sized yarmulka!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Best Fwends!

Last night I found this old photo of JJ and me! Strangely, I don't have the slightest idea when or where we took it, but I remember the face-concept we had for each frame:

1st Frame: EEEEEEEEk
2nd Frame: Oooooh, Awwwwwh
3rd Frame: Look pretty
4th Frame: Look raunchy

Virtual Birthday Wish List

Last night my father called to ask what I wanted for my birthday, and I didn't have much to offer him. He even asked if I needed any clothes.... he's never seen my sweater collection. It got me thinking and here's a visual/virtual birthday wish list:

  • Sonicare toothbrush

  • A Phil Collins pillow

  • Sex and breakfast in bed with Alexander Skarsgard

A girl can dream, right?!

  • Loretta Lynn tickets

February 17th at Moody theater

Lavender filled pigeon satchels on Etsy

I DO heart pigeons! Etsy shirt

  • J Crew Saturday pants!!! These son-uva-guns sold out and I've been checking Ebay like an addict for a medium or small pair.

  • Victorian mourning hair ring (size 7)

  • What's Love Got to Do With It dvd. 

Angela Basset is my spirit actress!

  • A professional facial

  • Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation on vinyl

  • Tiffany jewelry, of course!

1837 Bead Bracelet

Sterling silver beaded chain necklace

  • The most important thing on my birthday wish list, however, is to celebrate with all of my favorite friends and loved ones. Fortunately, I know this birthday wish will be coming true!! 

Last year's birthday bingo!

In conclusion, the father asked if I needed a new bike and well, I actually do. So, today I will be narrowing down my choices online. I won't, however, sell Gloria if I get a new girl. She's just too sweet and reliable.

Gloria, all loaded up like a pack-mule