Thursday, December 15, 2011

Perspective

2011 is closing and I'm in a highly emotional state. Being emotionally sensitive isn't something unusual for me, but this extended and ridiculous emotional fragility feels foreign. Can I really be this upset about turning 30? I fear the answer is yes.

The most ridiculous thing about having this pre-30 depression is that I don't know a single person who was upset about turning 30. Furthermore, my own girlfriends are surprised about how upset it's getting me. After all, I've already been saying I was 30 for most of the year and thought that would help with the tears, but it's a lot easier to humor yourself with a lie then learn how to accept the truth.

Personally, I don't handle unreasonable crying very well and I find that my mind is searching for valid reasons to feel sad other than the inevitable act of aging. I don't know if it's fortunate or unfortunate that the week has given me plenty of valid reasons that put my 30th funk into humble perspective. It's been a rough week for several of my good friends. And when I say rough, I'm not talking about trivial things like birthday anxiety, not being invited to a party, or PMS. Here I am crying out of vanity while the people I love are dealing with deadly freak accidents, cancer, suicide.... I love you guys and you mean the world to me. I feel so fortunate to have such incredible people in my life and I am always here to be your shoulder to cry on. Just know, I'll be thinking of ways to make you laugh through those tears in hopes that snot bubbles blow out your nose.

And in honor of Jay, a sweet man I had the pleasure of meeting a handful of times and making out with once, you're friends adored you...




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