Sunday, October 30, 2011

Gush, Gush, Hush, Hush

Ugh, I can't even blog because my brain is stuck... I have a huge crush, y'all!

Surely, my recent blogs have proven that I've been dating, meeting fellas I like/dislike, feeling a little overwhelmed, and generally testing the waters for... something?  Well, I can't stop thinking about someone and am having a hard time feeling so smitten.

- Beth and Gina brought up the idea of this fella at Beer Lunch Friday while I was weighing the pros and cons of another fella. He sounded great on paper, but I didn't know who he was and didn't want to add another ball into my juggling mix.

-Friday night I "met" him at the Roky Erikson Halloween Bash at Antone's. I was trying to dress like a sexy Gallagher, but instead ended up looking like a trampy French boy. We had a blast! He danced on the bar, we made out by the dumpster (current favorite single lady trick borrowed from AT), he made fun of my moustache, Roky played Starry Eyes....

with Karen's friends Hulk Hogan and Macho Man

-Apparently we've met several times (more like 7) and I don't remember having even seen him, but he has my personality pin-pointed and called me out about being grumpy the last time we "met" because nobody was listening to my story at Matt and Beth's BBQ.

-I love his voice and just want to hear him talk, talk, talk... I couldn't stop staring at him this morning wile he was sleeping he's just so cute, cute, cute!

-I think he may just be the party man I've been looking for and not one of the Peter Pan's Neverneverland, party boys that seem to be the only thing available in Austin. He refuses to drive even after one beer and eagerly pays $20 for a cab. He has no qualms about missing out on a weekend night at the bar (even if it's a Halloween party holiday) just to stay home and watch a movie. He has a silly bacon wallet. I even like his band, which sounds ridiculous, but lately my pick up line has been "what's the name of your shitty band?!"

-I stayed the night at his house Friday (I was a good girl, mum!), met his adorable dog Pig, and fell in love with his kitty cat Maxine. It's such a turn on to have a guy that talks to his animals. We decided that Pig would eat spaghetti for breakfast and Maxine wanted chicken noodle soup. It's nice to be quirky and silly without fearing that the person you're with wants to stab you in the eye with an ice pick.

-We wanted to spend all day together Saturday, but I had to get my hair done (It looks amazing! Thanks, Pam) and work all day at the football game. We kept sending cute little text messages and all I wanted to do was see him again. He came over to my place last night and we just talk, talk, talked and made out... ugh, I'm just a silly little girl with a big crush.

-It's ridiculous, but I keep thinking, "since I've remembered meeting you we haven't spent a night apart and let's never, ever, again!" I'm having a hard time restraining myself because the sane me says not to rush in, but I want to rush, rush, rush. I'm actually really shocked that I didn't notice him before; he's super cute and I want to make him mine.

-He met Emily O. and I couldn't believe how wonderfully he got along with a total stranger. They were joking and chatting and cracking me up. It's so refreshing to meet someone who can socially hold their own even around new people.

Yuck, I'm making myself sick! I might have to take a blogging hiatus so I don't keep raving about Eric. Also, I just love his last name because it sounds like American royalty ala Kennedy. Okay, I'm going to call him right now and hopefully go watch some Dallas Cowboys vs. Philly Eagles action. I don't even know who to root for, but I'm definitely rooting for ME!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Dream Catcher

I'm having oddly realistic dreams about mundane stuff. This makes for confusing memories and I feel stupid whenever I wonder what was real and what was a dream.

- Beth sold her car.
- The boss scheduled a conference with me regarding the spare panties I keep in my desk.
- I discovered that I had put a baby up for adoption without my knowledge.
- Roach infestation in the cat box.
- Cara and I went lesbo dancing and were recruited to be go go dancers in a cage.

- I'm afraid dead people from the Donner Party will haunt me.
- I cracked open a rotten black egg in the frying pan and vomited on top of it.
- Boris isn't properly grooming himself and it's grossing me out.
- The neighbor cat broke into my house and Cecilia had to initiate the intruder alert.
- I wrote four of the best pages of my "novel" last night at 3am.
- I'm happy, I'm having a good time, I like me, and I love my friends.


Monday, October 24, 2011

Boys, Boys, Boys

I think I've gone boy crazy and here's my evidence list.

1. My date for Alison's birthday cancelled on me, for what could be considered the 4th time. He once cancelled a date that we didn't even have because he got the days of the week confused. We haven't touched base since Thursday and while he was at the top of my Boys, Boys, Boys list he has now fallen to the bottom. Uh oh, Mary-Oh!

2. Being stood up by a date might make a girl feel lost and lonely, but not this gal. For alas, my current kissing friend was at Alison's backyard bash and we had a little makeout sesh in the house. Strangely, as much as I like him, I think I've placed him in the "off limits" category so strongly that I don't see something long term coming from it. He's a great guy that I've always had a playful crush on and we both talked about not wanting significant others at this moment, so I think things are going nicely in the meantime. AND I now have a wedding date to Pam and Wells's marital milestone. (Unless Audra goes dateless and then I'll have to be her date)

3. I LOVE gay men!!!! Saturday was Pam's bachelorette party and we had a blast. Yes, we were those drunken girls, dressed up and hopping from one terrible 6th Street bar to another while dancing to any melody the DJ played and taking copious frou, frou girly shots. Shots, Shots, Shot, Shot, Shots!

Here was my favorite gay, who has inspired me to be a drag queen for Halloween:

Chandelier McGravy is my drag persona. I like classy gravies.

4. I had two first dates this weekend. (see #s 5 and 6 for details)

5. Ugh, Alex. He's a PhD musical composition student and trombone player. He smelled like bread. I had a nice time drinking beers with him and biking early Saturday morning and even agreed to a second date. He's an internet date dude, who called me out for cancelling on his internet date friend who is also a slightly unattractive trombone player. I think they probably dock their tromboners together and I won't be seeing Alex again. Hey buddy, who are you to call me out on not dating you friend?!

6. "Did you notice me, noticing you?" It's such a super lame thing to type, but it's what Desmond said. And, I'm completely comfortable typing his original, and therefore identifying name, because I think he's the perfect amount of "crazy" for me and I foresee too many dates in our future. One slightly douchey thing, however, is that he asked me out after noticing that my ex was dating someone else and therefore realized I was single. We had planned early beers Sunday morning and after a night of shots with the bachelorettes I cancelled. He texted me, "get out of bed and let me put beers and tacos in your belly." Oh, its so romantic y'all. We did some day drinking and I can't wait to hang out with him again.

7. Sunday I met sweet baby Truman Evans and held him for hours. I fell in love and think I only asked to babysit like 24 times. He's precious and relaxed and I couldn't imagine that child ever turning into a brat. Here's an adorable onsie he's going to eventually grow into:

Yes, that is a tiny bucket of KFC

Holding baby T-bone

8. Last night I forced Mark to kiss me while pretending to be engaged for a random stranger in town from Kentucky at a terrible computer programing convention. We finally set the date, April 9th. I don't know who the hell Mark is, but I met his brother whenever Gina and I were in New York. He's cute, but Gina said I would tear him up. Meaning... I'm much too much for his sweet little boy heart.

9. I threw a bone out to a ragged old punk rocker in the handicapped bathroom of Love Joys. It was actually kind of funny, but we shared a joint and a kiss.

10. BBC is back in town and I wonder if those initials are going to spell T-R-O-U-B-L-E for me. We hung out for all of 30 minutes at the Pierced Arrows show, but it felt nice to be near him. He was outrageously bold for kissing me in such a public arena, which is nice to know that he's not afraid to "mark his territory." His shirt was super soft and I told him that it would be the one I'll steal to sleep in whenever I'm his GF and he goes on tour. We'll see..... I know this one is going to be trouble!

11. I know I'm a pretty rad chick, but I'm a little shocked by the dudes coming out of the woodwork and knocking on my door now that I'm single. (Now, that I'm single?! That sounds hilarious since I've been single for 8 months now, but I think it just set in a few weeks ago) I don't understand why there would be a line of available dudes and it's a little overwhelming for me. That being said, I have another first date on Wednesday with Rob. I've known Rob for a handful of years now and was excited when he asked me out a couple of weeks ago, but now I'm getting those first date second thoughts. We'll see... I may cancel and beg Letty to let me babysit Truman.

So bottom line, what I'm looking for right now:

Man, I LOVE Robyn


Last week I had an impromptu waxing party at my house. I've always been an outspoken lady waxer and have perfected the process for self-waxing. While I haven't waxed a friend before, I've been dying to, frequently offer, and often suggest the idea firmly. I finally had a volunteer (who shall remain nameless) who sat for an arm waxing and a witness who backed out of a last minute moustache wax. I had a blast and a surprisingly difficult time waxing somebody else. I guess this means a part-time beautician gig isn't in the works, but I did discover that while waxing I use a strangely creepy, frog-throated, nonseductive voice.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Wednesday... What Day?!

I feel like the week is already escaping me and I'm not quite ready for what the weekend has to bring me. I'd like a bubble bath and a day free from adventure.

Tonight I will be playing Pam's sexy date at the Austin Chronicle's Best of party. She won Best Outcome from a Hairy Situation and I couldn't be more proud of her! Open bar at the Bob Bullock and some catch up time with one of my favorite friends. Our schedules have been so hectic that I haven't actually seen her in over a month. Also, I got warning that my hair better be did before her wedding; there's a no gray policy.

Tomorrow is Alison's 30th birthday (again). I love the precedent she is making, because I will be 30 for the next 5 years, myself. She's asked for pizza and I will be bringing "a friend" who I really have a bit of a crush on. It's silly, but once again my schedule has been so hectic and I just want to hang out with him again. Also, we'll see how he holds up with the besties.

This weekend is Pam's bachelorette party and I'm having some slight anxieties. I don't have a dress sexy enough, I don't have hoochie heels high enough.... and then I think, "Pam's a class act, no need to slut it up the standard 6th Street way." We're eating some sushi, doing some drinking, and hopefully dancing our asses off until 3am. I love that girl and I couldn't be happier for her to have found love with Wells. Oh yeah, I still need a wedding date so...

Weekend Review

This past weekend was nice. Friday night we had a wonderful time celebrating Emily's birthday at Bernadette's, which is my new favorite bar. In all fairness, it was my old favorite bar as Airport Bar until the old black men who patronized the dive bar stopped letting me into their "private club facility" by attempting to charge a $15 cover charge at the door. Regardless of the new LGB status of Bernadette's, I think I will be having more beers there than they might anticipate. Especially since they have Friday karaoke nights.

Saturday the gals and I worked at the UT Club for the UT football game. The weather was lovely and the game was exciting. Afterwards Beth, Emily, Stayten, and I celebrated Room Service's 30th birthday. The entire store was 20% off, the Dos XX was free, Shad was hawking his wares and consoling me over my Mutter/Philadelphia job fail, and the cakes were amazing!

Each layer was a different flavor!

Bunny bathroom inspired cake

The skunk cake was my favorite!

Thank goodness Stayten was with us to help me decipher what some of the objects at Room Service were. I took this photo because I thought it was a ceramic cat covering up a nip slip with it's paws, which would be great for my Cat Nip Slip blog, but she clarified that it was a kangaroo with a little pouch to put your keys, coins, or matches in. Sheesh, I have a terrible eye for vintage!

I had a hard time deciding what I wanted to do Saturday night, as I typically don't make plans to do anything after working all day at the UT games. Wes and Gina had grilled some meats and we went over there to meet the new addition to their family, Uli the coon hound.

Uli is such a sweetheart!

Uli in her chair
I was finally able to eat some corn on the cobb without worrying about breaking any teeth. Oh, how I love my new strong and beautiful teeth. Beth and I were also practicing our red carpet, skinny poses and there were some good shots taken on Gina's camera.

nom nom

Skinny arms, pursed lips 

Overall, I had a lovely time Saturday night and was within a mile of my home the entire time! After GP's I met Stayten at Bar Fly's and was hit on pretty hardcore by a lesbian with braces. It was endearing, but I'm a man's lady.

I just couldn't get out of bed Sunday! I pulled a lazy, relaxing Sunday with some grocery shopping in preparation for Avan's southern potluck. I made some Paula Dean cheesy, fatty, goop that was delicious and finally found some BBQ that I love: Carolina pork! I had intended to go to Hole in the Wall for Wes's show with Devin and Salesman, but we wrapped up potluck at 10pm and all I wanted was a bubble bath, which was the perfect way to end my weekend.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

I just peed outside in my yard because I love peeing outside and I'm a grown-ass woman!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Week In Review

To say last week was exciting would be 50% lie and 50% truth. I had a big week of plans.... all of which kind of fell through and I ended up cozy at home with movies, beers, and kitty cats.

Monday: Woo Hoo, ladies night at the gun range as a farewell for Terra.... alas it was cancelled and I watched a shit load of Mary Tyler Moore at home alone.

Tuesday: Woo Hoo, ladies night at Cara's with Sex in the City, Lindsey, and electronic cigarettes... alas it was cancelled and I watched SNTC and smoked e cigs by myself.

Wednesday: Woo Hoo, date night... I anticipated this date to be cancelled because the previous two were. However, Mary-Oh came through and I had a lovely time. To be honest, I think I have a little bit of a crush and I want to kiss him on the reg (that's what the kids are saying instead of "with regularity"). We talked a lot and the entire time I kept thinking that it felt just like talking with by BBF (best boy friend) JJ, except with Mario I just wanted to shut him up with my kisses.

Thursday: Woo Hoo, ladies night with Maria Bamford... alas Maria cancelled due to illness. As a consolation, I had a happy hour at Red House to celebrate that I didn't get the job in Philadelphia, but I won't be crying about it. My "glad you're staying in Austin because we love you" friends all kind of bailed and it was just JJ, Ashley, Avan, and Karen. The nice surprises, however, were when Esme, her mum, and Lari and her new English beau showed up.

Friday: Woo Hoo, Emily's birthday party at Bernadette's for karaoke... everything went perfectly last night! Jacob and I had our Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers, Islands in the Stream duet, Emily looked radiant, everybody showed up as planned, and we closed down the bar. Since Alison, Julia, and Stayten live just across from Bernadette's we walked across Airport instead of driving. I thought it would be fun to run, even though there weren't any cars coming; you know, add some excitement. I started sprinting, my sexy wedges popped off my heels, and I tried running on my tip toes with shoes dangling. It didn't work, I fell in the middle of Airport Blvd, the contents of my purse spilled, I scraped up my knee, and tore holes in my $400 sexy jeans. It was divine!

Looking more like a blow-up doll than Dolly

Houston, Schmooston... A Photo Essay

Last weekend Beth and I travelled to Houston for a laundry list of things to do and see: wedding dresses,  mums, dads, new baby nieces, friends, and pregnant bellies at baby showers. It was a lovely and exhausting trip that started out trying on wedding dresses at BHLDN.

Gorgeous dress display at BHLDN

Playing dress up with Beth

I really liked this dress even with my thong
showing through. 

Playing a fake bride-to-be 

The real bride-to-be

It was a lot of fun eating macaroons and trying on $3,000 dresses with Beth. As the bride-to-be, I don't think she found what she was looking for, but we got a lot of great ideas. And who doesn't like telling lies about fake fiances and feeling pretty in lace?!

After BHLDN we had a delicious Vietnamese dinner with Lacey and Veronica followed by beers by the skyline.

Veronica, LD, Beth, Lacey

Veronica, LD, Beth (I feel very pretty here)

LD, Beth, Vero, Lacey

Saturday morning was spent with my mum before heading out to the Arlan baby shower. We're all very excited about Kourtney and Nick's special baby, she truly is a blessing to them and I can't wait to meet Ava. Afterwards, it was off to my sister's house to meet my lovely new niece Audrey Ella before heading out for a night out at Mamacita's.

Lola and Audrey

Mamacita's famous margaritas (with unknown
fatty in the background)

I didn't get to spend much time with my Dad, but we did go out to an early breakfast before Beth and I had brunch scheduled with our fathers. I love Richard, he's such a great man and I never get enough time drinking beers with him. We then parted ways in the pouring rain and ate brunch with our father's before heading home. 

Shannon, my father, and me

It was pouring all day Sunday and the rain made me so sleepy. I slept the entire ride back to Austin like a terrible co-pilot. It was a really nice trip and as I get older I find that I cherish my family more and more.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Last Week

Well, I most certainly have been falling back on my blogging; what's a busy girl to do?! Last week was hectic and enjoyable. I had cancelled dates, unexpected dates, dreams of Philadelphia, and lots of friend time.

I loved my horoscope last week:
Right now you have license to make pretty much everything bigger and funnier and wickeder. Good fortune is likely to flow your way as you seek out experiences that are extra interesting and colorful and thought-provoking. This is no time for you to be shy about asking for what you want or timid about stirring up adventure. Be louder and prouder than usual. Be bolder and brighter, nosier and cozier, weirder and more whimsical. The world needs your very best idiosyncrasies and eccentricities!
I have the feeling like I didn't quite live up to my potential last week.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Wednesday Wrapped-up

Oh, I'm ready for this day to be over. It surely felt more stressful than it really was.

My phone interview was rough and I'm not entirely sure I expect to go to the next round. There were 5 women on the other end and some tough questions. I had a hard time answering one person's questions as before I was able to finish my answer, she interrupted with another question. There was also silence after discussing salary. I keep repeating this, but so far this process has only benefitted me and if I don't get the job I'll still be a happy girl with a pretty smile here in Austin. Regardless, I think Philly has given me what I've needed and I want this job!

I don't have my sexy sushi date tonight, after all. To be honest, I'm relieved. I find that it's hard to be "on" whenever I'm in a bratty mood, and I'm still having the brat-attacks. So instead, I'm going to ladies night at the Broken Spoke and I couldn't be more excited. I've had this on my monthly "potential activities" list since the beginning of 2011 and I can't think of a better night than tonight to follow through. Watch out old men, because I'll be dancing with anybody that asks and I want my red petticoat to be twirling. 

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Wish Me Luck, Buttercups

I'm losing my mind, y'all.

I think it would be fair to say that I have some control issues, and right now I don't feel like there is much in my control. I kind of feel in limbo: unable to move forward or plan accordingly until I know whether or not I'll be getting my "Cinderella" job in Philadelphia. Last night I looked at apartments and chose the area I'd like to live. I thought it would help calm my control-related stress, but it actually just made me more anxious. I keep looking at my calendars to plan events (camping, dates, ladies nights, and all the other over planning I do) and I just sort of draw a blank. Right now the only thing that is keeping me sane is thinking of upcoming birthdays and buying presents. I just bought way too many presents!

Here's my upcoming BDay calendar:
-Thursday, October 6: Shanelle. God, what I wouldn't do to be able to celebrate Shanelle's birthday with her over candlelight at Taco Bell?! Alas, I can't :( Why is Tennessee so far away?!
-Saturday, October  8: Roadhouse. I was supposed to be in Oakland for his birthday, but cancelled last month.
-Sunday, October 9: Megan. Fortunately I'll be in Houston and hope to see her and my lovely nieces Astrid and Willa. I'll also be meeting my niece Audrey Ella for the 1st time.
-Monday, October 10: Brad: Once again, I'll be in Houston and able to give him a birthday hug. He's easy to please and a birthday beer is all it takes!
-Tuesday, October 11: Madison and Emily O. I won't be able to see Emily on her actual birthday, but we're planning a Friday night karaoke session at Bernadette's. I just ordered her present and hope she likes it! Although, she just told me what she wanted and now I have some great ideas. There's still Christmas.
-Thursday, October 20- Alison: I have yet to hear about plans, but her present was also purchased today in my anxiety-ridden shopping spree. I hope whatever we do to celebrate involves s'mores.
October is full of birthdays, which means there was a lot of winter lovemaking!

I have my 2nd phone interview tomorrow and I'm terribly nervous. I'm even more nervous about how my weekend will go while I'm biting my nails wondering if I got the job. Wish me luck, buttercups!

Kitties at Play

I saw this sign this weekend in the alleyways between E. 6th Street and 7th Street

Love, Rex

I thought it was very cute and took a photo (duh!). I'm going to have to make a similar sign for my neighborhood street as well!

The city has modified Red River in between 41st Street and 45th Street. Now there is only one lane traffic headed north and south instead of two lanes in both directions. I thought this was a nice improvement, as it accommodates for a new, roomy bike lane and a center turning lane. However, I witnessed what happens at 5pm on weekdays for the first time yesterday! Traffic gets backed up at the 45th Street light and people start loosing their minds. Normally, driver's loosing their minds has little effect on me, but the impatient ones decided to cut through my neighborhood via my street. They zoomed at speeds close to 35 mph, which is just way too fast on a neighborhood street. My sweet kitty Boris knows better than to go in the street, but he was afraid of the fast moving cars just from hanging out in our driveway. I can already foresee that this road remodel will result in some general grumpiness!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Eagle, Schmeagle

In the highly competitive world of dream jobs, I've beat the competition and am now in the semi-finals. Round two puts me at 1 of 20 candidates with a telephone interview, conference call style, with the hiring board. I'm so nervous, I'm so excited, and I feel a little overwhelmed whereas before I had a win/win outlook on the future. I just have to remind myself that if I get this job I will be ecstatic, but if I don't get it I'm still a happy girl!

I'm afraid not getting this job might be my 2nd broken heart this year. The best advice I ever recived was from my mum. She always encouraged me to go for everything I wanted because the worst that could happen  was that I didn't get it and I was right back where I started. I applied to be Philly's Cinderella and I'm actually in the running, which is a little worse than if I had never applied and never felt the excitement of the potential. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts... I collect hair and this is the perfect job for me.

I have yet to tell my boss and will wait until the time I have an in-person interview. The odds of me getting the job still seem so low and I know his anxiety would sky rocket when it may not need to. I did some online hunting for apartments and it made me excited. I feel like I was looking for a change and until now have only been making cosmetic changes: tattoo, teeth, single... It would be pretty crappy to move to Philadelphia as winter begins just after spending a brutal summer here in Texas. It would be bitter back-to-back extreme seasons.

Philadelphia has been on my mind since January, and I've been seeing "signs" pushing me towards Philly since February. (which is about the time I started looking hard to interpret anything as a sign.) Well, I love the Dallas Mavericks and completely respect team/city sports pride, but I'm not so sure I can get behind the Philadelphia Eagles. At first I thought it was another sign, since my college mascot was an eagle, but last night my father told me Mike Vick played for the team... I'm not so sure I would want Mike Vick as a neighbor.

I interview on Wednesday, have a sexy sushi date later that night, and then spend the weekend in Houston for the much anticipated Arlan baby shower and to finally meet my new niece Audrey Ella. I really, really hope my weekend isn't spent on pins and needles wondering about the job. 

What would be sadder:
1. Getting an amazing job I've been accidently groomed for my entire life and having to leave all the people I care, love, and depend on so much?
2. Staying put with my amazing, loving, family of friends and have had two exciting weeks of my dream job nearly becoming a reality?
It still sounds like I haven't lost either way.


Saturday, October 1, 2011

Good Morning, Honey

The weather in Austin feels amazing right now. I slept with the window open and the cool breeze smelled great while I was snuggled deep under my covers. I hope these pre-fall temperatures stay around a while, but I will be a little pouty if I don't get one last summer beach day in.

My excitement about the possibility of moving to Philadelphia is fading. Now I'm just very anxious to either start packing and day dreaming or move on with my Austin plans. My nerves are also frazzled wondering if I'll hear back from Mutter early or late in the week. Keep your fingers crossed for me, please. I think this could be an excellent and exciting opportunity.

Last night Julia and I watched Cat Dancers as recommended by our lovely Vest Friend, Jamie. It was certainly interesting, but was slow paced and overall creepy. However, instead of drowning naked in a champagne bubble bath, I would now like to die by having my throat torn open by a white bengal tiger that calls me, "momma."

What will I be doing this weekend? I'm not quite sure. Beth and I had plans to attend the Webb Gallery opening in Waxahachie Sunday, and I was looking forward to that, but Beth's schedule changed. Laundry was the number one goal of mine and I was able to complete that last night. Emily J. and I will be beaching if the sun warms up and the Vest Friends have some acting and video recording to do. So, now what?! Looks like beers in the park with JJ napping and eating like homeless folks in this gorgeous weather. I'm in the mood for enchilladas!