Monday, September 12, 2011

A Lonely Monday

I felt sad yesterday. I feel sad right now. That's sad because I'm a very happy person with a very happy life. I had dreams last night that seemed too real and caused a lot of emotion in my heart. That used to happen all the time to me, but not so much anymore. At least insomnia is good for something; fewer nightmares.

So, here is a mopey list of my current mood:

-I want to sit on the couch in my house and just feel love; love for my home, love for the man I share it with, love for everything, the warm belly of my loving cat on my lap. And although I currently do that, there isn't someone to share it with and I absolutely despise that I yearn for that so much.

-It would be nice to have someone to just mope beside and to vent knowing they wouldn't judge me too harshly. Thank goodness for my amazing ladies! I loved watching TV at Lela's house with Julia in our comfy pants. It felt like old times in high school having a best friend that you did nothing with all the time. It's also really nice just going over to Beth's for a beer and watching her cook. I actually told Beth this weekend that I wish I had a little beer fridge at my friends' houses so I could just stop on by and know I'd have a cold beer waiting for me.

-I've been thinking about arranged marriages. I assume there would be money involved and therefore a contract, so I could easily include my Monday and Tuesday ladies nights, a small room to keep my collectables (hair, snail shells, pine cones) and whatever else I find important in that contract.

-This song is how my heart feels right now, at this very moment:

-When my soul feels restless, I just want to be alone at the beach, pool, or any body of water. Yesterday I napped by the pool an there was a pervy young guy just standing around the gates watching me. It made me feel nice and skinny.

Guess what guys, I feel better already! Writing and getting my emotions out of my mind (regardless of how unjustified or pathetic they might be) always makes me feel better.

So, tonight is True Blood night and I can't wait to have girly night with Madison, Lela, Julia, and Carrie. I'm in charge of dinner and will be making pasta and a feta dip I've wanted to try since Christmas.

Another point of cheer: I have the best jobs I could possibly have. I could leave the office right now and go swimming if I wanted to! But, alas, I do have a ton of work to do and will not skip out on that. Besides, I have tonight to play!!

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