-Yesterday I had another boo-hoo yuck moment with the bestie JJ (I hate 'bestie' and only use the term to be ironic. Is it working?). I worked myself up about personal growth, development, and self-discovery. I don't think that it's necessarily fair that I have to work on me and try to better myself when everyone else just walks around messing up the whole world with their issues that they don't work on. For example, why should I have to work on body-image issues whenever the grad student in my school didn't. Sure, she died and I don't want to, but that shouldn't be the only motivator. Why should I have to worry about addiction? Why should I have to work on learning to get love instead of martyring mine, whenever people get married, have babies, and just live. I could do that! I could do that so long as I could have chickens at the same time! I know it's a stupid thought and I want to be happy and prosperous in my person, but it still doesn't seem fair to me. My journey isn't easy and I know nobody's is, but sometimes it feels like just going about without questioning or examining anything would be a helluva lot nicer. JJ kindly told me that I didn't have to work on myself, but I do because I want to and have a 'good' brain. Sometimes I wonder if I got lucky or cursed to have a good brain; I can never shut the sucker off! Last night I heard lots of great words of wisdom while I pouted and moped during Bagel Fest 4. That boy can make some great bagels: lemon and thyme, Italian red pepper, and my favorite, rosemary. I had bagels for dinner last night and breakfast this morning.
-Speaking of food: Dear friends and family, you don't have to ask me if I've eaten! Yesterday both my dad and Beth asked me if I had eaten. It makes my brain get all confused like there's something going on I'm not aware of. It's like if someone asked me, "Did you eat any spinach today?" my first thought would be, "Why, is there a recall? Shit, am I gonna get diahrea?"
-Yesterday I broke up a dog fight between these two:
-My sister's blood transfusion went well. She's home and feeling so much better. I'm still a terrible sister and haven't called her, but my dad is keeping me posted on her status. I'll have to giver her a call tomorrow so she doesn't forget that I love her.
-Shanelle introduced me to this today. I need a new baby hamster so I can buy it a living room and bedroom set!