Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Wednesday Madness

-I've decided that it's time to change my scent. This makes sense to me (pun!) as I've been wearing the same vanilla shit since I was in high school and it smells too much like a stripper for me. I love the way my B.O. smells though, and I think it's important to be comfortable with those sort of things. I'd describe my stink as the smell of German chocolate cake sitting in a dug out hole of dirt. I wish there was a scratch and sniff function to blogging because I would rub my pits all up on the computer monitor to share with you lovelies! I found a bottle of "amber indulgence" body spray in my bathroom this morning and thought it smelled nice in the bottle. On me it kind of smells like Fruit Loops, so I'm going to have to experiment a little bit with other options.

-UT campus is crazy today! It's the first day of classes and I'm overwhelmed by the amount of people here. I can't wait until the new Freshman discover marijuana and stop attending classes so this heard can be thinned out a little bit. I'm not the only person losing their mind because of the bustling campus; today I saw people doing yoga and meditating in the trees! YES, in the trees! I don't know how to handle that and it nearly threw me into a roid rage even though I've been off the steroids for 2 months now. I just don't understand hippie-ness and it makes me feel irritated. Last Friday I rode into work on the bus with 1 other person. This morning my commute looked like this; standing room only:



-Look at the 5 second film from today:


-Jessica informed me of 2 very important things today. The first being that there was an earthquake in America yesterday. This was shocking news to me, but even more shocking to her that I hadn't heard about it. What can I say?! I'm out of the loop! The second, and more important, piece of news she introduced me to is that Kim Kardashian's mother made the following music video:


My initial response to this video was confusion until Jessica explained that I too would make an "I love my friends" music video in honor of my 30th birthday if I was rich and fabulous. So, that being said... get ready to star in my very own 30th birthday "I love my friends" music video because I'm throwing myself a 30th bar mitzvah and it will premier there. Sure you might say, "Lauren, why would you throw yourself a bar mitzvah? You're not Jewish or 13, and don't you mean bat mitzvah?" No, I don't. Firstly, I had a Quinceanera for my 27th birthday, so I think I can be 13 for my 30th if I want to. Secondly, I think it's about time that I get to be more like a man and I want my bar mitzvah to celebrate that. And in honor of me becoming more man-like, I give you the final video of today's blog:


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