I'm being such a brat today! It really makes me mad whenever I know I'm being irrational and bratty, but can't really resolve it. I think being sick for so long has been both physically and emotionally trying. However, I keep pulling other things from my life to add to my sadness, like some sort of crying fodder.
I think the thing that keeps getting to me, is I don't have one person to trust everything with. I've always had that or, more appropriately, thought I had that. Granted, it was far from ideal and I'm getting more support from my friends now then I ever got from my ex-BFs, but I just don't like the way it feels having such an open book with everyone. At the same time, I have thoughts and events that I have to share, or else I would go crazy, so now I share with all of my friends equally. I miss that specialness of having just one special person who knows it all. I wonder if that is a control issue I should work on.
It's rough, but honestly I should feel lucky; I only have one thing to cry about and the majority of my brain knows there's no reason to cry. I just need to trust myself, think of how lucky I am, and be a better person for my friends. They don't deserve to always be hearing my whiny whines about resolved issues.
Today Jessica helped me plan a pity party:
- Baby pool bubble bath with candles
- Ice cream buffet
- Airing of the grievances for all party guests
- One of those gauntlet-style Soul Train double dance lines where you walk through and get hugged
- Kitty cat and puppy dog petting booth
Things that make me happy
- Making ceramics
- Writing words on things
- Laughing with Vest Friends
- Shopping for treasures
- Kitty cats
- Schedules, calendars, planning
- Lists, lists, lists
This summer has been trying. It certainly hasn't been the best summer yet like I wanted, but it's not too late to start working on making it better. Potential ways to improve this summer:
- Snow Cones
- Make out with a cutie, carefree
- Trueblood with the Lela and the girls
- Lady/baby Tuesdays with Cara and Posey
- More mimosas
- Less puking
- Pilates!!! (I need those !!! for encouragement)
- Callahan's for chickens, pigeons, goats, and pigmy piggies
- More sun time and swimming!
There, I'm already feeling better! Pity Party still in the planning stages regardless, because I'd like to hear what's bugging everyone else too!
Here's one of my favorite songs, just to hear something fun
The debt ceiling has been raised 74 times since 1962, so people should relax! Stop stressing me out NPR.