Thursday, June 30, 2011

Date Night

It's been a rough week for me, but I'm gonna blame myself on this one. First, let's start out with some cheerful highlights:

- Cecilia is currently making biscuits on my legs.
- I've lost 10lbs in the last two weeks from either ditching the roids or vomiting uncontrollably.
- I have a date tonight.
- I don't have to worry about paying my bills, it's just the fun money that goes too fast.
- My best friend is getting married and I get to help her with planning.
- I don't have to work on Monday!!
- This summer I will get to see, in person, the most amazing piece of art I've ever "seen".
- After I get my new teeth, I want to have an awesome portrait taken. Maybe one of me jumping off a diving board in a pretty dress into a pool grinning from ear to ear. Family, you will be getting this photo with a nice little note requesting all previous ones be destroyed.
- My friends and family love me and think I'm awesome!
- One day, I will own a claw foot tub and chickens.

Okay, so onto the nonsense. I've been crying all day. I cried all day Tuesday and yesterday too. I should be ashamed of myself. I'd like to say I don't have a valid reason to cry, but I keep finding plenty of tears streaming down my face. I'm just going to put this out there: I've had enough! I'm not going to bully myself anymore. Dear Lauren, you will stop; you've been warned.

What's up with the tears? I'm still heartbroken. It's been 4 months since I broke up with the ex and I'm not resolved like I had hoped, or thought I was. I still cry at my desk at work. I still buy him presents whenever I see things that remind me of him. I still turn to look whenever I hear a motorcycle. I still have troubles sleeping at night because I crave his snoring and erratic breathing. My heart is in thousands of little pieces and each one is still devoted and in love with him. It's absolutely disgusting! Today I realized, that this is my first actual heartbreak that didn't involve death. I should view this as a silver lining and feel lucky to be experiencing this for the first time, but it doesn't make it any easier. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so self aware, so driven to constantly be improving my emotional understanding, and trying to find an equilibrium between my brain and my life. I could have made Allen mine forever; I knew how. I remember sitting next to him after our break up and thinking that I knew exactly what to say and do to wrangle him and keep him, and yet I still ended things because I didn't want to settle for constant beratement, criticism, and abandonment. So, why am I crying and brokenhearted if it was such a terrible relationship?! Well, it was the most amazing love I've ever felt when he loved me. So, there you go. I ended something terrible that used to be something amazing and I'm still beating myself up for not having been able to make it amazing again. I loved him so much and always focused on his happiness and I know he was miserable with me. So...
- This is my 1st heartbreak.
- I want a merit badge for this one.
- Today, I end this! Today, I end the constant thoughts, the tears, the hope, and the wishing that all we need is time and that things will go back to wonderful.
- I hear a motorcycle outside my window at this second and I'm not going to look.
- Audra, get that bonfire started baby. I'm ready to burn it all!

I shouldn't be blogging this. When it comes to my readers, I'm only aware of my blog subscribers and a handful of other friends, so I have no clue where my 40+ page views come from each day, so I know this may be too personal for those unknown individuals. I guess this is the type of stuff that should go in a journal. My journal is nothing but little scraps of paper shoved into a tin without much cohesion; rambling quips of feelings and thoughts. Anyhow, I feel really sorry for my girlfriends, having to deal with this all over again. They've been so supportive and understanding; listening to me cry and helping me through the rough spots. When we broke up, I told him I didn't want to be with anybody else but him, and it's still very true. I wonder how many old maids there are out there still waiting for that one person to come back in their life. Probably a lot less than there are couples in loveless, unhappy marriages.

So, what is the whole point of this rambling? I have a date tonight. A date that I have cancelled two times before with a very sweet and charming guy. He's a friend of mine. I've found him attractive since the moment I met him and we both think each other is awesome. I'm absolutely terrified of going out with him. It's just a friendly date, no expectations, nothing with implied romanticism, but just a one on one thing to see if there is the potential for something more. Beth told me she hopes there are fireworks and I started sobbing. I should be hoping for fireworks too, but it's the last thing on my mind. Anyhow, I have a date with someone I think is awesome and cute and I feel outrageously guilty about it because I'm still in love with someone who doesn't want to be with me. Okay, here's another list to be used as my personal pep talk:
- You're cute.
- You're funny.
- You're smart.
- People like you.
- You're a single lady and nobody is stopping you from doing anything, so go get some beers and watch a freakin' movie and stop blabbing on and on about someone who told you they only wanted you in their life when it was convenient for them (his words not mine).

Wish me luck!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Pity Party

I'm being such a brat today! It really makes me mad whenever I know I'm being irrational and bratty, but can't really resolve it. I think being sick for so long has been both physically and emotionally trying. However, I keep pulling other things from my life to add to my sadness, like some sort of crying fodder.

I think the thing that keeps getting to me, is I don't have one person to trust everything with. I've always had that or, more appropriately, thought I had that. Granted, it was far from ideal and I'm getting more support from my friends now then I ever got from my ex-BFs, but I just don't like the way it feels having such an open book with everyone. At the same time, I have thoughts and events that I have to share, or else I would go crazy, so now I share with all of my friends equally. I miss that specialness of having just one special person who knows it all. I wonder if that is a control issue I should work on.

It's rough, but honestly I should feel lucky; I only have one thing to cry about and the majority of my brain knows there's no reason to cry. I just need to trust myself, think of how lucky I am, and be a better person for my friends. They don't deserve to always be hearing my whiny whines about resolved issues.

Today Jessica helped me plan a pity party:
- Baby pool bubble bath with candles
- Ice cream buffet
- Airing of the grievances for all party guests
- One of those gauntlet-style Soul Train double dance lines where you walk through and get hugged
- Kitty cat and puppy dog petting booth

Things that make me happy
- Making ceramics
- Writing words on things
- Laughing with Vest Friends
- Shopping for treasures
- Swimming
- Kitty cats
- Pigeons
- Schedules, calendars, planning
- Lists, lists, lists

This summer has been trying. It certainly hasn't been the best summer yet like I wanted, but it's not too late to start working on making it better. Potential ways to improve this summer:
- Philadelphia
- Snow Cones
- Make out with a cutie, carefree
- Trueblood with the Lela and the girls
- Lady/baby Tuesdays with Cara and Posey
- More mimosas
- Less puking
- Pilates!!! (I need those !!! for encouragement)
- Callahan's for chickens, pigeons, goats, and pigmy piggies
- More sun time and swimming!

There, I'm already feeling better! Pity Party still in the planning stages regardless, because I'd like to hear what's bugging everyone else too!

Here's one of my favorite songs, just to hear something fun

The debt ceiling has been raised 74 times since 1962, so people should relax! Stop stressing me out NPR.

Pukey Searches for Happiness.

I've been so sick lately and busy at work I haven't had any blog time!

Last week was a disaster; kidney stones and vomiting. My pals were super sweet and took good care of me. Beth, Gina, Eric, and JJ all came to keep me company and bring me goodies. I got countless texts of concern from the other friends, which felt great too. I'm not use to getting so much attention over medical issues, and trust me, the medical issues are extensive. It made me feel safe to be sick and able to complain without worrying that anyone would lash out. Everyone thought I was a brave little girl! I didn't get to have much fun for Gina's birthday BBQ, but here's a picture of me getting a massage from sweet B before I went home early.

Gina, Sickie, Beth, and Bridget in the background

Friday was the only day I went to work last week and even then it was for just a few hours. I was feeling better, but still not 100%. We had the first ever Ladies of the UT Club happy hour to send off Lorena on her last day. It was fun, refreshing to spend some time with a new group of people, and it put me in the mood to go out for the night. Beth and Matt were at PinballZ and it only took one call to Julia and we were there; 6 pack in tow. I told the PinballZ pros (Eric, Jessica and Jacob) and before you knew it there was a nice little reunion with Roger and Rachel unexpectedly in attendance too. I had fun, met a cute boy who I gave my phone number to even though now I hope doesn't call me (I sooooo do not want to date!), and got to bed early. I call that a success.

Saturday morning was another puke fest, but the afternoon was divine! Ladies day at Bridget's in honor of Gina's birthday with the cooling pool with strawberry basil sangria. Momma wasn't drinking, but I love basil cocktails!

Gina & Bridget, pre-soak

Oooo, it looks so nice!

Fancy sparkly from Michael for Gina.

The gals taking a dip: Catherine, Bridget, Andre, Gina

After a full day of sun I needed at nap, which happened at 7pm just after taking my miracle "spit pills" and here is what followed. Yes, a huge, massive drool spot on my pillow! I've talked about the "spit pill" induced drool spots before, but now, here is the proof.

Right hand included for perspective

My plan was to nap for an hour, head out to the Golden Boys show, and then off to Gina's dance marathon birthday party turned regular A Giant Dog show. But I stayed in bed until 10pm and then decided to stay in for the night until I discovered that Julia and Karen were just around the corner. I'd been home in bed sick all week, so I had to get out of the house for a few drinks, which of course turned into going to Gina's not-birthday show after.

With Gina, not at a dance marathon party. We don't look amused.

Boots for GP, white Keds for me

I love getting out and about with Julia. We come up with some of the best one-liners in response to the idiots that approach us. For example: the German jerkhole twins of SXSW became "Deutsche bags". Also, "Fatty wanna party?!" might be the new way I start referring to myself whenever I'm in the mood to get wild.

Saturday night just reinforced my lack of interest in dating or meeting new people. I saw a cutie, went up to him, rubbed his tattooed arm and said, "I've never touched a scorpion before"(a great pick-up I thought) and he responded, "It's a dragon.""Well, I've never touched one of those either" was my quick response. He was super cute, for sure and Julia can confirm, but then after talking to him I was so disinterested. I guess I don't know what I'm looking for, but I'm surely not finding it. I'm looking for fun meets reality. I'm a party girl with a strong work ethic and I'd like the same. Ugh, I'm so not the dating type. Let's just see where this leads me....

Sunday, I went to Blue Hanger with Jessica and Karen, who had never been before. I got the standard dresses I always seem to find and a cute little ottoman that I want to refinish and cover. Afterwards we had pizza and went swimming. That evening I watched Wuss at Cinema East with Alison. I had a lovely time and we girl talked until the early hours of the morning afterwards. I love how all of my lady friends can provide me with sane perspectives that are different from each other. I feel fortunate to have my girls.

Monday was another puke fest. I can't take all this vomiting! My doctor has pinpointed the cause to my new miracle pills, which suck. Now we are talking about injections which I was trying to avoid. In the meantime, I'm off the stuff and hoping to stop puking soon. Monday night with the Trueblood girls and it was certainly a much-needed reunion. Ugggh, I want to break off a piece of Eric Northman so bad. I guess if I don't want to meet sexy new guys, fantasizing about the ones on the television is a good alternative. "Yes, Eric Northman I will marry you, but first you will have to fight Dirk for my hand."

Here are my Tuesday Tidbits:

-Look at this dog and laugh!

-This is Bridget and Michael's cat Auggie. He is such a handsome boy. I think I need a subsection of my blog for pictures of other people's pets.


- I'm tired of my cats thinking (pooping) outside of the box!
- I really want Janet Jackson Rythm Nation on vinyl.
- I'm not as excited about Philadelphia as I was last week, because now I want to keep my money and not buy a plane ticket. 
-I'm just being a brat. Who wants to help me de-brat?!

Friday, June 24, 2011


Some days make you go, "ARRRRRRRGGGGGGH" and today is one of those days for me. To counteract, here are some reasons why today is great:

-Friday summer beer lunches with Gina, Jessica, and JJ. Even Carrie joined today!
-I'm wearing my poodle pin, Maude as seen in this photo:

Maude is to the right! White poodle!!

-Having the 1st ever "ladies of the UT Club" happy hour this evening.
-Jessica just gave me mixed berry flavored generic Tums and my tum tum will start to feel better soon.
-My scale told me that I am 7lbs lighter.

Okay, that's all the cheer I have for the moment. Tomorrow is Gene Beam birthday queen day and Sunday is Jessica, Blue Hanger, and Vest Friends meet the Party Down cast and have try to make a bootay festival out of it.

Ugh.....goodnight today!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Thursday Tidbits

Okay, so I lied about posting cutsie videos. It turns out I'm too busy and too important. Anyhow, here are some that I've seen recently and really that should be enough for now:

Julia and I have been playing a silly "name that cover band" game back and forth via text. The other day I sent her "Group of entomologists in abusive relationships in a Black Eyed Peas cover band: The Black Eyed Bees." I know, I know: it's pretty lame, but it has been pretty good for a quick laugh in the middle of the day. Yesterday she told me that Sean, her coworker, after hearing it, said that I am now his Mitt Romney. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but he assured Julia that is was a compliment. He's supposed to be super sexy so I think I'm a little excited about being Sexy Apple Sean's Mitt Romney even though I know nothing about either of those men. Yee-haw!

Since I've been non-blogging during my recent illness, there are lots of things to catch up on. Like my sister's baby shower, Astrid's swim meet, my recent visit with my mum, father's day breakfast with my father, Gina's birthday, blah, blah, blah. I'm not going to catch up.... it makes me feel overwhelmed so you just got the nutshell.

Two things on eBay that blow my mind:
1. Stuffed pigeon. I have really wanted a realistic looking stuffed pigeon to snuggle with, and not that dorky Mo Willem's pidge. I even, on a alcohol-induced emotionally-driven rant, told JJ that I would pay $250 for a realistic, cuddly pigeon. Now of sound mind, I think that is absolutely ridiculous, but apparently I'm not the only crazy person on earth who wants a stuffed pigeon. This sucker sold for $188!!!   Link to eBay Description

One pricey pidge!

2. Another thing on my wish list are Victorian tools to make hair jewelry. I collect human hair, love Victorian hair sentimentalities, and have been wanting to start making jewelry, but find it really hard without the proper tools. This just came up on eBay yesterday and it's going to be mine! I'm the top bidder and I'm willing to pay $ALOT (That's pronounced dollars a lot)) Cross your fingers and if I win maybe I'll put the hair of a dead cat woven into a ring on one of them.

This is one of the prettiest mourning rings with hair
that I have EVER seen!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Poor 'Lil Sickie Baby

I remember my mum telling me, when I was a sick child, that crying would only make it hurt more. She was right then and she's right now. I'm wallowing in some self-pity. Sure, I thought last month was medically hard, but I wasn't physically ill and stuck in bed. Oh, I just feel so beaten up and in pain. Also, it's so hard to not look back at my illness in Febraury and be sad about that instance all over again. Oh, self-pity isn't a good color for me.

Sickie Tidbits

-The kitties love all this time in bed.

-I'm 100% off the steroids!!

-What makes Jamacain Gingerale, Jamacian and why is it so much better than Canadian Gingerale?

-I'd like to become active in the medical marijuana campaign. (I mean beyond just smoking it.) Seriously though, after vomitting from kidney stone pain for hours, how do you keep a pain pill in your system? And this is just the little stuff; I remember my Grandpaw's experience with medical marijuana when he had cancer.

-I've started thinking of 'high-class butler' as a potential new career choice. Although, I don't really like waiting on others. The thought only came to mind after watching Doris & Bernard about Doris Duke and her butler. I'd make a great expensive pal to do gardening, boozing, and traveling with.

-It appears that whenever I'm deathly ill (deathly being used here lightly, although not so light the last time I used the term) Steve Martin has the most pressing of important issues!

-I have really great friends. Thanks to all of you who've stopped in and taken care of me. It has meant a lot and really been helpful. I know I live just behind a grocery store, but it's just a struggle walking to the bathroom, I couldn't imagine making it to HEB. And, I know not everyone can drop their lives to play my nurse-maid, so thanks for the calls and texts too.

-I'm going to miss Alamo's ladies night cute fest tomorrow night and I'm super bummed about that, but when I move from the bed to the couch tomorrow, I will attempt to view and post my own favorite cute videos.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Just Another Monday Describing Sunday

Oh, what a weekend! The sick grandma was miserable; miserable and she took it out on me. Misery loves company, but not this girl. I hid out in her spare bedroom, cried a lot, and watched terrible movies like The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and Bucket List. Saturday I had just about had it and told her to get back in bed and stay there. She wanted soup, but she didn't want me to make it in her kitchen or go out to pick any up... it was a moody merry-go-around. I just left, went to Central Market, bought buckets of soup (various flavors), juice, milk, NyQuil, and beer! While she napped I threw on my bikini and laid out in her backyard with my book, beer, and fancy snacks from Central Market. It was exactly what I needed!

My tears weren't entirely her fault...GD steroids. Thank goodness my dad explained steroid withdrawal, or else I would have made a lot of terrible and pathetic decisions. Oh, the text messages and grovelling phone calls I narrowly escaped! So, I have two more drops in steroids left before I am off the juice. Hopefully the emotions stay at bay, but if they don't I'll be ready for it. I truly am a person in charge of their emotions for the most part, which made this weekend so unexpected and rough on me. I couldn't shake the tears even if I knew they were ridiculous and pointless. On another steroid point, I am loving the drop in dosage! My legs have never looked better and are bruise free. Also, my rare skin disease seems to be missing. It's frustrating, because parts of me are wondering if the steroids where the problem the entire time and maybe increasing them was only exacerbating the situation. Regardless, I'm starting to feel more and more like myself emotionally and medically... now to just get rid of this huge moon face and fat ass I have!

So here's the funny part: on the way to Dallas ZZ Top's Pearl Necklace brought me to tears.

On the way home, this song had me crying... and then I realized it was on a religious channel. Oh what a mess I was this weekend!

So, last night granny sent me a very sweet email thanking me for taking care of her and apologizing for being such a jerk. I really feel bad for her, cause I know how much it sucks being sick and not having anybody to help you out. I forgive her and she also gave me my typical presents: lots of pretty lace side thongs from the lingerie store she works at and some sweet little baby clothes for Audrey Ella, my new niece.

Happier notes:

- I stopped off at junk shops on the way to Dallas and found some things that really cheered me up: this awesome pickled baby octopus for $3. I named him Maurice and he's on my night stand hanging out.


A painted metal chicken for my garden.


A Calvin Coolidge election pin. Coolidge is my favorite president!!

This gorgeous Turkish pillow cover:

- This is my Grandma's tinny, yappy dog Dior


- Last night was amazing! The Mavs won the Championship... 1st time ever even though they were long overdue. Ugh, I cried (GD steroids), but this time they were tears of joy. Then Gina, Wes, RT, Catherine and I jumped into the oversized baby pool Gina and I had spent hours trying to figure out, set up, and fill. We had a great little celebratory pool party and then finished up with Wes' Basketball music video (Of course, my favorite part are the pigeons!). It was the  perfect ending to a rough weekend.... and I ate some steak, too!

Catherine, Wes, Mwah, RT 

Topo, Catherine, and Gina & Wes playing "belly bulge"

Topo Chico meets a Coca Cola

East Side DawgZ

Topo and Gene Beam in her sexy 'lil 60's 'kini

RT doing the monkey dance

Wes as things get "hard and weird" 

Things are getting back to normal and I'm looking back at this weekend's emotional overload as a bit of a joke. Seriously, I will never allow steroids to be a part of my medical regiment ever again!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Family Drama Day

Yikes it has been quite a day!

So, I'm in Dallas with my grandma. I love her dearly, even though much of the family would kindly say that she's a hard pill to swallow. It wouldn't be an understatement to say that I may be the only person who understands her. Well, she's sick, which is something I've never dealt with before. My sister, the nurse, once stayed with granny after a foot surgery and the stories were horrendous! Now, I'm experiencing the grumpy granny from hell first hand. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I very nearly yelled at her to get her ass in bed and let me make her some soup instead of driving around from restaurant to restaurant insulting hostesses whenever the soup d'jour wasn't to her liking.

Family drama tidbits for the day:
- My nephew has 2nd degree burns on his shoulder from an unfortunate BBQ accident.
- My sister is 8 months pregnant and was rushed to the hospital with labor pains.
- My dad had a lady ring his doorbell with a gun in her hand while I was on the phone with him.

So, I've Been having an oddly emotional day, sprung from and oddly emotional week. While talking to my dad today, he told me that you get emotional "coming down" from steroids. This explains so much. I was crying nearly the entire drive to Dallas. Every single song on the radio worked me into a tizzy. At one point, I had to pull over because the tears produced by ZZ Top's "Pearl Necklace" were so thick I couldn't see to drive. This is not normal me! Also, that story made my dad laugh really hard which felt so wonderful! I miss my mum and dad and can't wait to hang out with them next weekend at my sister's baby shower (if she can keep that baby in long enough to have one!)

I love junk shops! I didn't find much today. I got a pair of coral earrings, a Calvin Coolidge (my favorite president) election pin that I've already lost, a pretty embroidered Turkish pillow cover, some records, a baby octopus, and a metal chicken.

Car Wheels on a Gravel Road

Boo, I'm in a mood! I had a dream last night that really upset me. It's been a while since I've had one of those intense dreams. Jessica confirmed that it basically had all my neuroses in it: people stealing my clothes, the ex, being excluded, the ex, being buried alive, the ex, running out of beer, the ex, medical maladies, the ex, sentimentality with clothing.... Ugh, I hate feeling blue. Beer picnic lunch with JJ and Jessica helped for sure. I've just got to stop thinking about certain things.

I love Lucinda Williams....

I miss my mum. I don't call her enough. I'll get to see her next weekend. I'm excited. I really love my family. Here's a picture of me looking very pretty with my nephew.

Last night was great!! First place trivia at the Grackle with Aaron, Dustin, Eric, Jacob, and Julia. We had a great team and Eric was a pro. I had so much fun. The Mavs winning only made it better. I'm really hoping there's only one game left and that my boys win the Championships.

These photos of the children of rich Russians are just amazing.,1518,767205,00.html

I'm off to Dallas for my granny. I'm really looking forward to it and I hope she gets better soon. There's something about road trips that always give me a bigger sense of freedom. I'm gonna make granny my mum's medicine soup. I'm also terrified of getting sick since I'm on my new medication and steroids still; I'm very prone to illness. Sickies stay away! I'll be wearing a medical mask like Michael Jackson. Last night she emailed me "I want to watch Bridesmaids at midnight in Paris early Saturday morning." I thought maybe she was losing her mind, but then I saw in the Chronicle that there is a new Woody Allen movie out called Midnight in Paris and I think she wants to do a double feature Saturday morning. That sounds great, but I just hope I don't fall asleep. Two movies in a row might do me in. Anything for granny!

Gonna stop off at the junk shops on the way. Crossing my fingers I'll find some good things. Gina needs a bday present!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Thursday Tidbits


- Look at this amazing water slide in Sicily at the Citta del Mare hotel. I want to slide into the Mediterranean Sea!!

- I wanted to know what squirrel poop looked like so I googled "what does squirrel poop look like." Aren't you curious too?

This key is larger than squirrel poop.

- I read this hilarious post on Jessica's tumblr: "A great way to spend Friday night is to Google Image Search your job title and judge the head shots of other people in your position. Mine are mostly middle-aged white women with terrifying hair. I can’t post example because that is mean spirited!" Of the images that came up, I liked this one best

Angry Administrative Associates

Oh wait, I technically have two job titles:

Editorial Assistants wear bugs on their faces

- 6 Plants Your Cats Will Love: I like the pictures of the kitties in this article. Boris has been eating and throwing up grass for months. Jamie gave me some organic cat nip seeds that are blooming wonderfully, but I can't get the jerk to eat them.

This 'lil guy looks like Cousin Gary

- Jacqueline Susan wrote an short story for Family Circle about a pigeon named Gwendolyn who liked to watch Busby Berkeley movies on the TV. I read this in Lovely Me and have since been desperately trying to find the story. While I probably shouldn't, I've found countless reasons to think that good 'ole Jackie and I are two ladies cut from the same rags. Gwendolyn the pigeon is another one of those many reasons.

-All this Weiner's wiener scandal has got me flipped around. I don't think I've ever been sexted! So, I sexted myself and took this picture of my ass looking great in jeans today. These are miracle butt jeans and I frequently turn around to look at my tush in the mirror whenever I'm wearing them. Take a look:

It's hard to take a pic of your own butt.

- This is what I'm going to do with my Gma this weekend....relax like cats in old lady style basket hats

- I haven't bought my plane ticket to Philly yet, but I'm getting super excited and antsy about my summer vacation!!! Cheese steaks, NYC, medical oddities, Marcel Duchamp.....eeeeeeeek I can't believe I will finally get to see my most favorite piece of art in person. Gina's gonna have to keep a handle on me because I think I may faint or break down the door: look through peepholes

...and see this lovely lady
Here's how it works

- I have lost 2lbs of my steroid weight this week... only 18 more to go! I start my new medication whenever I find the time to stop off at the pharmacy to pick it up and I'm really optimistic. The only side effect is some strange blood cancer, which I'm not supposed to be prone to, but I'll have to get blood work almost weekly for the first 6 weeks just to make sure I don't get the big C. That makes me a little nervous, but I'm so ready to be off these steroids and to get my health back in order. Even though I have always dealt with chronic illness, I'm just not used to being sick all the time. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Girls, Girls, Girls!!

My steady Tuesday lady/baby date was a little different last night and sweet little Posey stayed home. I went with Cara and crew to Cap City Comedy Club for Matt's PUNCH!, ( which was a lot of fun! I'm a good laugher! I really like saying that and think I'll put that on my personal list of qualities I like about myself. However, sometimes I just get a little embarrassed by the things that I'm laughing at. Also, last night I realized that whenever people are addressing an audience on stage, I find myself talking back way too much; like it's some sort of personal conversation they're having with me and I need to reply. Or, at least, stopping myself from talking back. It's like that R-tarded communication disorder I was fearing several blogs back. Anyhow, last night was a blast and I just don't know what I'm gonna do without my Cara Tuesdays for the next few weeks while she's vacationing. I'm gonna have to go out and take Jager bombs all by myself! If you see me moping at the bar, just take a Jager bomb with me and tell me a story about your baby.

So....way to go Mavs! Last night's timing turned out great so I could watch the beginning and ending of the game. Wait, no.... I didn't watch the ending. I watched the 3rd quarter at Cap City and then called Eric and asked him to tell me what was happening as he was watching the ending. He did a pretty good job sports commentating and my unfrozen caveman basketball player sweetie did a great job of playing with a 101 degree fever, the flu, and a busted finger. Damn, I love Dirk. I don't really like these nail biting games that go right to the last second and the barely-scraping-by scores. As long as my boys win!

I also had a great impromptu lady at-home happy hour with Karen. Such a nice surprise! We were catching up at the UT Club and gabbing with coworkers about the gossip and drama that has been evicted from my life when I just didn't want it to end. didn't! And, as if I haven't said this before, I am just so in love with my lady friends. For example, even today at lunch with Jessica and Jennifer (coworkers are supposed to suck but these are the best!) I was reminded about how great the women in my life are. My sweet Grandmother thinks female relationships are typically catty, demeaning, and competitive. I'm her best girlfriend and, although she's had best lady friends in the past, I couldn't imagine not being surrounded by all the awesome estrogen that is pumping through my pals.

Speaking of my sweet Granny, she has pneumonia! I'm going up to Dallas this weekend to provide some TLC. She'll be okay, I just don't want my Granny sick without anybody to take care of her.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Too Many Words Describing My Weekend

Wow, what a weekend! I didn't even have time to blogger it up, so here goes:

Friday I had some very important doctors appointments about my current health condition. Things aren't going well for me, as many of my friends know due to my excessive complaints! My doctor said my face had become cherubic (AKA fat), called a lot of attention to the 20lbs I gained in May, and generally apologized for putting me on steroid overload for the last six months. I think he is taking the blame for a lot of things that weren't necessarily associated with the steroids, including my breakup, which is quite alright by me since I've already put fat face, weight gain, insomnia, anxiety, calcium depletion, depression, fatigue, dependency on pain medication, forehead hair, general moodiness, aggression, overindulgence of thrifting, asparagus-scented urine, and total loss of libido on his "blame list". 

I still love and highly recommend this doctor if anybody needs a Rheumatologist! On the up-side, I will slowly be weened off my steroids. Apparently, if I just stop taking them I can keel over and die because my adrenal glad is no longer working on its own. This is the wackiest thing I think I've ever gone through, but the grass is looking greener and my ass will soon be back to its normal size with no effort in about four weeks. Woo hoo, effortless weight loss and my old waist and chin size; I'm excited! Also, I'll be on some new miracle anti-cancer medication that kidney transplant patients take... sounds like fun with few side effects beyond the excessive upper lip sweat, potential to develop cancer, inability to digest celery, abnormally long leg hair, and belly button sensitivity. 

I had lots of BFF catch up time this weekend with JJ and my ladies. It was great. Friday night Wii play with AT, JJ, and Bob. Bob is my new favorite cat that isn't mine... sorry Gizmo. Bob likes to sleep on ottomans, have her butt scratched, and play with feathers. Her expression will never change regardless of her mood.


Saturday night gave me more AT and Julia. Alison and I have been trying to plan a ladies downtown dance/saki bomb fest for months now, but it was just as fun dancing by ourselves at my house while Julia played DJ. Saturday's soft-boiled egg breakfast with Gina turned into an impromptu visit to the Blue Hanger. We're both car-less so we took a Car2Go to the edge of the city boundaries and then walked two miles. I think this is proof that she and I have a Blue Hanger addiction. I got this great vintage metal cabinet thing you hang on your kitchen wall and it has compartments for tin foil, paper towels, plastic wrap, and wax paper. I loved it so much and it was pretty big to carry on the walk back, but I just couldn't leave it behind even though I don't have any wall space for it in my kitchen. So, of course, I bought it with the intentions of saving it until I could use it, but then a fella at Rio Rita fell in love with it so I gave it to him; win-win! Gina and I fought over a dress, which has never happened before. I had to barter to keep it by giving up a skirt and a different dress... all's fair in love and bargains.

After breakfast, Blue Hanger, and Rio Rita, Gina and I went to 2nd brunch at Yellow Jacket where Austin Pets Alive were doing a doggy event. By this time I had too much to drink (no, really?!) with the mimosas and horchata & rum cocktails, and I fell in love and nearly adopted two chihuahuas (Tipsy & Bama). 

Oh, Bama's a cutie

Fortunately, Gina suggested I sleep on it and I awoke in the morning glad I didn't have two new doggie friends. I have, however, decided while I can't have a dog, I am going to volunteer to be a doggy/kitty big brother/big sister. This is great for me, because it's essentially the same reason why I love being an aunt, but don't want to have children myself. I can go visit my little doggy sister, take her to the park, feed her some ice cream, go swimming in the lake, and then take her back home to her cold, barren, loveless prison cell. It sounds perfect for my lifestyle!

After narrowly escaping doggy-motherhood, Julia scooped me up to watch Hesher, which I loved! So, I've been schooled on the JGL (Joseph Gordon Levitt) and while I'm not swooning over him, nor have I ever, for some reason this movie really worked up my lady thoughts. Hmmmm.... am I looking for that stringy long hair, Andrew W.K. look-a-like, metal head with emotional issues after all? No, I don't think so... maybe it was the tighty whities. I don't know the reason, but here's the trailer. Go watch the movie:

Sunday wrapped up the weekend with Vest Friends. I could seriously lock myself in a room with these girls and be entertained for hours... which is basically what we do at our meetings. Well, that and the pillow fights. I think we basically created an hour's worth of an introductory skit show into the who and why of what we are. We got so much work done while drinking so many mimosas. Girls, I don't know if you realized this, but the four of us blasted through four bottles of the champies. Which, might be the reason I stayed in and missed the Mavs game while nursing a terrible headache. (I would like to take this time to emphasize that my lack of watching the game did not cause the Mavericks to lose. Perhaps Jamie and Audra should be blamed here as they watched the game and were rooting for the wrong team just because they are Florida girls.)

Don't even get me started about Modern Family. JJ got me turned onto it and, while I haven't had television in years and try to avoid it, I'm completely hooked. I don't know if this is the intended desire of the show's creators, but it really makes me want to have a family. I find the slight disfunction so comforting; not quite like the drama I grew up with. It makes me think I could be happy with a dope for a husband and bickering children. I won't jump the gun on this one like I nearly did with the chihuahuas.... I'm gonna stick to my goal of having a claw-foot tub for now and put off this "notion" for another 10 years.

Today is my Grandpaw's birthday! He always signed his emails, cards, and letter's that way. I don't know if he did it on purpose or accident, but I love paws so it works for me. He would be 71 today. (yes, he's dead) I'm gonna ride on a motorcycle today in his honor! Okay, that last part was a joke. He once told me never to ride on the back of a motorcycle with a man unless he loves me. Otherwise, he will be showing off to bed me and could kill me, while someone who loves you drives safely.
I love you, Grandpaw and you're still the only man who will ever get all of my heart! Wish you were here!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I Like Ketchup on my Meatloaf

In 2000, VH1 produced the most amazing biopic of one of my favorite musicians...  Meat Loaf.  I remember being so excited to watch it the night VH1 had the world premier of Meat Loaf: To Hell and Back. And, of course, while Mr. Loaf was out of work for the second time in his career, they never thought to, perhaps, cast the lead character as himself. Regardless, the movie is a heart warmer about following your dreams and the struggle to succeed amongst 300 lbs. of raw, intense, and unbridled spirit!

I unexpectedly remembered this movie a few weeks ago and finally re-watched it tonight. Ugh,  Bat Out of Hell gives me goosebumps! I've been a Meat Loaf fan since the first day I ever heard him and, as a result, I've been a fan of Bruce Springsteen since the first time I heard him and thought he was Meat Loaf. I've said it before and I'll say it again: In all sincerity, Bruce Springsteen is the New Jersey Meat Loaf. I'm a Texas girl and went to the same college as Meat Loaf (along with Nora Jones and fellow Vest Friend Jamie), but this is more than lone star loyalty... I've told this to many people and have honestly been a little surprised by the total dissent I get in response. I think a Meat Loaf/Bruce Springsteen-off is called for, whatever the hell that might be.

Don't take my word for it, watch all 9 parts on

Or purchase this amazing trilogy of music online at