ARGGGH.....if you have it, give me a call.
So, I'm diseased ridden like a rat. Most people don't know this about me, because it's pretty well controlled by immunosuppressants, steroids, a strong positive mental attitude, and additional medical miracles. I've had Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disorder and Sjogren's Syndrome for over a decade now, and most recently in November was diagnosed with Palisaded Neutrophilic and Granulomatous Dermatitis. I wish these things had common names like "Shitty rash that hurts like a tattoo" or "My mouth is so dry I can't eat pretzels/crackers disease." Anyhow, I'm coming out of my don't-complain-it-could-be-much-worse shell to bitch about the PNGD which does absolutely nothing besides causing a painful, hive-looking rash on my thighs that feels like I'm getting a constant tattoo. It doesn't itch, it doesn't spread, it isn't caused by anything notable...it is becoming a personal hell for me. My dermatologist told me there were 10,000 known cases, so if you ever hear about someone having this (or google searched and found my blog and you have it!!!!) I could really use some sort of bitch-fest.
So, today my lovely doctor has doubled my steroids in hopes of bashing the rash. It's like a catch 22: if it works then great, I'm on this high dose forever. If it doesn't work, then let's just up the dose again. If you've never taken steroids, then you're lucky. It's awful! I can't sleep, I can't concentrate, I can't keep my emotions in check, and to top it all off I feel like a giant, swollen, sausage in a sweaty track suit.
I think I might try acupuncture, as recommended by sweet hippy B, but I'm running out of sanity. One a brighter side, it could be worse! I could have:
-a conjoined twin
-allergy to hippos
-a petrified, unborn, fetus in my body
-that hairy face thing that makes dog boys
-a hatred of all green vegetables
...and the list goes on!