Friday, September 30, 2016

5 Facts Friday

I am so in love with this Friday, because tomorrow I will be on the beach in Mexico, drinking a piƱa colada with my sweet husband for our 3rd honeymoon!!

  • BBC and I originally honeymooned in Fredricksburg (read about it HERE) as we didn't have money to travel much farther. While we had a lovely time, I decided that I wanted to honeymoon every year. I still fully support this idea! Tomorrow we will be in Isla Mujeres, or as Google images calls it.... Heaven
  • And while I'm not currently in Mexico, I'm pretty sure I already have Montezuma's revenge. 
  • Yesterday BBC came home during the day and witnessed a police chase in our alley!! APD even tweeted about it with the hashtag #WhatThe Helicopter. This wasn't one of those high speed chases, rather it was on foot and I imagine it looked exactly like this.

Reno 911! - Police Helicopter by wiredset

  • Last night I re-watched Misery and lord almighty, that Kathy Bates' character is insane. Do yourself a favor and watch the cockadoodie movie again!
  • And now.... I must start packing!!!

Friday, September 23, 2016

5 Facts Friday

It's Friday, y'all...

  • My new favorite thing is BelGioioso fresh mozzarella snacking cheese, which is ciliegine-sized mozzarella in tiny packages of 3. I want to immediately eat four more every time I have a package, which I suppose defeats the purpose of a snack. I found this video, which is now my 2nd new favorite thing, when I searched online to find a product picture.

  • A couple of months ago I tried my hand at painting with watercolors. I loved the watercolor class I took in college and had started feeling disappointed about not having any creative endeavors, beyond shopping. This was my first painting of our alley cat, Buddy. It is now hanging in my office and I'm still waiting for someone to ask if my kid painted it.

  • BBC and I are going to Mexico in October for our 3rd wedding anniversary! Unbelievably, as we are both native Texans, neither of us have been to Mexico. We are going to Isla Mujeres, a small island off the coast of Cancun, due to a super cheap, direct flight and the recommendation of friends. Conveniently, the traditional gift for 3rd anniversaries is leather, so here's hoping that I get a lovely, leathery tan while in the Caribbean. And since my husband has a hard time picking out gifts for me, I'm going to leave a little hint HERE.
  • Speaking of married life, we recently watched Anomalisa and I was hilariously turned on by the puppet sex scene. I don't think further elaboration is necessary.

  • Today, while in the bathroom at work, there was a woman in the stall peeing with a slice of cake (on a plate) on the bathroom floor! Even worse, someone in my office microwaved bacon this morning and didn't offer to share any with me!

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Sad Salad Pie

It's the end of the month and our fridge and pockets are empty, so we didn't do much (or eat much) this past weekend. I was pouty and bored, as a result, and really wanted to cook something Friday night. My inspiration was the memory of my father's dump soups, casseroles, and stir fries. Most of the time the result was a disaster, but he once made something deliciously outstanding and couldn't remember what he threw together.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with my recipe for sad salad pie and it is delicious! Move over Rachel Ray, or whoever else is a low-rent Martha.


  • Frozen, broken pie crust
  • Half a container of salad spring mix, just before it spoils (about 2 cups)
  • A fat handful of basil (I found a live snail in my batch)
  • Olive oil, however much you want. Probably 1/4 cup?
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/4 cup of breadcrumbs
  • Squirt of miso paste
  • Squirt of Dijon mustard
  • All the cheese you have in your fridge. In my case, it was about 2 ounces of slimy feta
  • 2 Tbsp garlic paste
  • Salt and pepper to taste

No need to preheat the oven, that step is kinda bullshit, but cook at 450 degrees. Pierce bottom of pie crust a couple of times with a fork. Spread garlic paste on the bottom of the pie shell. Blend salad mix and basil in a food processor while streaming olive oil to make a pesto. In a bowl, mix the pesto with the remaining ingredients until you get a green pudding-like mixture and pour that into the pie crust. Bake until pie crust edges are golden brown, about 40 minutes.

Look at that adorable orange pot holder!

Friday, August 26, 2016

5 Facts Friday

My most favorite blogs to write are my 5 Facts Fridays, but this week I feel silly having both Monday and Friday themed posts. I'm gonna do it anyhow, so I hope you can deal with it.

  • I ate a giant pizza yesterday! My GF Julia is moving away, which makes me sad, but she's leaving for nursing school, which makes me happy and she had a giant pizza going away party which makes me super happy. I love you Jules, wish you the best of luck in Houston, and words cannot express how jealous I am about all the green sauce you'll be eating.
30 inch pizza!!!!

  • I'm going to have to call you back 'cause David Yow is on the radio, is apparently how my husband answers the phone now.

  • Buddy, my accidental cat, had conjunctivitis this week. I bought some Canadian meds off Amazon because he's too wily to take to the vet. He stopped loving me as punishment for putting eye cream in his festering peeper, but tonight he showed me some benevolence now that he's unoozy.

  • The only thing I hate more than inconsiderate walkers is an inconsiderate walker who makes me bump into him and leaves his sweaty man, sourdough funk smell in my nose, which happened this afternoon. The silver-lining of this tidbit, however, is that it didn't smell half as terrible as my office did 3 days after someone vomited in it. Oh my god, it smelled like rotten shrimp casserole all week!

  • Courtney Barnett's Nobody Really Cares if You Don't Go to the Party is my current theme song, hence the blogging at 10 pm on a Friday night.

Monday, August 22, 2016

A Case of the Mondays

I think, if I've ever had a "case of the Mondays," today was the day.

In addition to the usual chaos and work frustrations my day went like this:


I split the ass of a lovely wrap dress as I sat down for a staff meeting. I would have described it as flattering and slimming before it busted open.

RIP My lovely floral kimono

What I though was someone heating up a late lunch in the microwave turned out to be vomit from a college-aged student just outside my office door.

This prehistoric creature (or something similar) fell from the sky and hit my head while I was walking to the bus. A grackle quickly snatched it up, which makes me think he was trying to bust open his din din by dropping it from the sky.

There's no lead-in or explanation for this bullshit. Tonight I chomped down on a freakin' rock while eating some leftover pinto beans. The silver-lining, however, is that I didn't break a tooth even though I have broken teeth on french bread and twice on cheese. Not just any cheese, bre and queso fresco. The only thing softer would be ice cream.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Lady Church

I Megabus-ed in and out of Dallas earlier this week to "get into formation" with my girl Jamie and watch Beyonce at Cowboys Stadium. It was magical! Beyonce is the supernatural God of Lady Church and it should be required that every female worship at her altar before getting their period and transitioning into womanhood. I cannot quite explain the sensation that coursed through my veins while watching that magical creature sing and dance for 2.5 hours. I felt empowered, youthful, and surprisingly eager to be stronger and more feminine. Here are some highlights of my trip:

Jamie took me to Yucatan Taco Stand in Lower Greenville to share what can only be described as wedding cake-sized nachos. They were insanely delicious, but we could only power through half of them before the tequila slowed us down.

I never took a picture, so I borrowed this one from Yelp
There was a shallow basin at the end of Beyonce's stage/runway that filled up with water, unexpectedly, towards the end of the performance. The $700/ticket crowd around the Beyonce lagoon went absolutely insane as she and her dancers stomped buckets of water in their faces. Someone passed her a Texas flag and the most adorable Christmas morning smile snuck up on Beyonce's face as she twirled around. Angelic... how can a woman my age be so heavenly?!

My husband has been heartbroken by the death of Prince. As a result, I have seen so many Prince tributes online, from Garth Brooks to D'Angelo. Midway through the concert I heard the beginning notes of Prince's The Beautiful Ones and I lost my freakin' mind. Jamie and I were screaming our heads off once the fog machine blew out purple haze. It was such a beautiful tribute.

This video isn't from the concert (see Footnote), but it's so beautiful and you can glean my experience from it.


I know how ridiculous it sounds... my life was truly changed by this concert. I worship at the Lady Church and Beyonce is my God.

** Footnote **
I was so engrossed in the moment, that I didn't take any pictures at the concert. Go figure, I watched a performance through my eyes and not my iPhone. Accordingly, I got my photos from Beyonce's official tour pics HERE and video from YouTube.

Friday, May 6, 2016

5 Facts Friday

  • Something has happened to me neurologically, I can only assume, as I am suddenly forgetting to zip my pants after going to the bathroom.
  • I have accidentally started reading the books of Meryl Streep movies. It started with Out of Africa, which you shouldn't bother to read, followed with Sophie's Choice, and will end with Heartburn. Oh god, it must end because I don't even like Meryl Streep much. If you're curious about what's on my to-read list you can find out HERE on Goodreads.
  • This weekend I will be headed to DFW to see Beyonce!!!! In case you've forgotten how much I love Beyonce, I invite you to read my "5 Beyonce Facts Friday" post from February 2013. 
  • In March I read Marie Kondo's, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and my life was truly changed! Over the course of a week, or so, I tore up my house eliminating everything that didn't bring me joy. 50 gallon trash bag after trash bag was taken to Goodwill, Half Priced Books, and Letty's clothing swap. The man at Goodwill even remarked at the volume, "Oh wow, Miss!" All in all, it felt great to lighten my load, simplify my closet, and remove the tumorous stuff from our house. I highly recommend that everybody try out the process, but would suggest reading the revamped version, Spark Joy instead. Now, if I can only get BBC to allow me to go through his things. 
Every article of clothing I own, piled nearly 2ft high on my king-sized bed!
  • Last night I accidentally realized that my work laptop, which I have had since February, was a touchscreen. No additional comment.